Arjuna

2005-07-15T23:38:00.000-07:00

Quite a tiring day though.
We all are getting ready for the incoming test on Interior Technology.
Abit hard to understand.
But Nana is always there to help me.
Really going to sit with her one day and get this module straight.
I'll try not to repeat any module in this course.
I want everything to go smoothly this time.
Anyway.
In class all the guys told me that Nana is just right for me.
If you know what i mean.
But i just regard her as a friend.
That's all.
I want to concentrate on my course first.
Ok then.
That's all for now.
Post again some other day.
Iw ant to go and revise.
Chao.

2005-07-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

Today was a little bit of relax though.
Just had a lecture on Theory Of Design.
A two-hour lecture which i wanted to concentrate.
Not like last year which i just sleep the whole lecture.
Hehe.
This time i've to bucked.
I've to wake up from my slack.
After lecture which end at 3pm me,Nana,Azman and Elvin went for a bite at foodcourt five.
Drinking while going through what the lecturer had taught just now.
Nana is the girl that i talked about.
Which helped me to get myself used to the new class.
She's so bubbly.
So cheerful.
So friendly.
So kind.
Alright.
I'll not exaggerate ya.
Hehe.
We will always went to Woodlands Civic Centre to study.
Sometimes together with Azman,Wei Chong,Elvin and Susan.
Azman the guy which i can rely on to smoke.
A smoking company.
Wei Chong the naughty yet serious in study.
And Susan the "auntie".
Chatty girl.
Hehe.
So that's the bunch of friends i hang around with.
Anyway.
Thanks guy for being there to give me confidence to get a diploma.
Hope we'll be friends all the way in the years to come.

New Course

2005-07-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since i post an entry.
Need some time to get use to my new course.
An interesting course that I got to appeal to the school.
Interior Design is just the right course for me.
As it's more to creativity of a person.
Been busy in the course though.
And the new class have such helpful friends.
They have really help me to get use to my new course.
Even though I've to start all over again as a first year student.
But it's ok.
I don't mind.
As long as I've got a chance to mend my mistake last year is good enough.
So I'm going to concentrate in this course.
And get myself a diploma.
I really thank my classmate alot.
Especially a girl in my class.
She really help me alot in getting used to the new course.
We'll surely sit with the rest of the class like Elvin,Wei Chong,Azman and Susan.
Study ourself all the way.
Ok lah.
Got to go.
Will update again when I've the free time.

Bayangan Gurauan

2005-05-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

Tak pernah ku alami
Tak mungkin ku hindari
Di himpit perasaan
Bayangan gurauan

Di dalam jaga ku tercari-cari
Di dalam tidur termimpi-mimpi
Siapakah gadis misteri
Melambai dan terus menyepi

Jangan biarkan ku ternanti-nanti
Usah benarkan masa berlalu pergi
Cinta mu gadis misteri
Adakah kekal dan abadi

Andai diberikan emas permata
Ku pilih senyuman mu
Andai ku punyai mahligai indah
Ku hadiahkan untuk mu
Dalam berjuta bintang berkelipan
Kau bagaikan kejora
Antara ribuan mata menikam
Takkan ku biarkan kau tenggelam.

Haiz

2005-05-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Now Listening To:Sendiri By May.

Looks like it's been a long time since i last put an entry.
Nothing much that happened lately that interest me to blog.
Anyway.
I've changed my blogskin.
It's been like how many months already never changed the skin.
Getting bored with the skin too.
So decided to changed it just now.
How is it.
Nicer then the last time right.
I'll changed the skin picture when i've the time.
Uses photoshop to create pictures.
Nice pictures.
Hehe.
Nothing to do mah.
So just play around with photoshop.
Taking various pictures and combined them into one graphical picture.
Hehe.
And i've also changed my tagboard to a shoutbox.
I think it's better.
Just that when want to logged in to your shoutbox account have to remember a six-digit number.
Not those which uses a ID which is easier to remember.

Around the past two or three days ago went out to meet my so-called god-sis at Causeway Point.
If not wrong it's on a Saturday.
can't remember much.
Anyway.
Meet her and her friends.
Went to eat at Burger King as her friend is treating us all.
Loads of money yar.
Hehe.
After that we went window shopping at the shops located at Causeway Point.
One of them is X-Craft.
One comment i have on X-Craft is.
They have cool funky materials.
Furthermore.
It's not all expensives.
That's what makes X-Craft a great place to buy funky streetwear things.
That'll be my shop.
Hehe.
What i'm i talking crap yar.
Hehe.
And she bought for me a leather wristband there.
Cost 5.90 bucks.
At first.
I don't want to accept her treat to buy for me somethings.
But she kept pestering that she wanted to buy something for me.
So at last.
I surrender to her.
You guys want to know why i said she is my so-called god-sis.
It's because to me i regard her as my god-sis.
Nothing more.
But she go and tell her parents that i'm her boyfriend.
What a fuct.
Hehe.
Her problem lah.
As long as i know the truth taht she's nothing more than my god-sis.
Is enough for me.
Gonna meet her on this Sunday.
As she is dropping down at Jurong to go to her friend's house.

Last Friday went to meet my ex Yana.
Went to show her something.
A lyric i've written for her.
At first.
I asked her to meet me at the void deck or something.
But then she asked me to come up her house.
As her parents were working.
Not yet at home.
So met her there.
Her younger sis and bro were at home.
Doing their crap stuff.
Went into her room to talked.
Catch up on all times.
But don't woory.
We didn't nothing much.
As i left her room door opened.
So all her crazy siblings can see that it's clean between her and me.
After awhile after 4.30.
Heard that her dad's came home.
At first was abit nervous.
But can't go anywhere.
Have to faced the music.
Sat with her dad at the living room.
And her dad became a part time reporter.
Hehe.
Asked this.
Asked that.
Haiz.
Old people.
Who cares.
Hehe.
Told her dad that i and Yana are just friends.
And we were just talking in her room to catched up on old times.
As it's been long since we met.
After his interrogation.
Told him that i've to meet my friends.
And got out of her house.
Hehe.
It was a nervous experienced for me talking to her dad in that situation.
But i promised you guys this.
I'm not meeting her dad anymore.
As i've gave a first impression to her dad that i'm not that kind of in law for them.
Hehe.
So they just thought of me as Yana's friend.
Good riddance.
Hehe.

Been Long

2005-05-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

Now Listening To:Tunduk Mengalah By Data.

It's been a while i've didn't blog.
Yup.
Almost a week.
Well.
Just don't have the mood to blog.
With my result like that.
With Shima no longer with me.
Haiz.
Been a bit sad.
But felt like no feelings in me anymore.
More like a dead corpse.
Hehe.
Felt like the world is crumbling down on me.
Haiz.
Double haiz.

Now Shima is with Izam.
There in a relationship.
A mix of sad,anger and dissapointed.
Can't believe my very own brother did this to me.
But it's my fault also.
I just not able to accept Shima as my true stead.
Too hurt by the past.
That's why she can't hold it any longer with the waiting.
Thus.
Ask for break.
Because Izam sound her.
And she accepted.
It's ok.
I must accept reality.
Reality SUX!
Big time.
Hehe.
I'll still treat Izam as my bro though.
He had even say sorry for what happened.
Just that lately.
Shima had started to show her affection to Izam.
I'll still be friends with Shima.
But i can't be joining Izam and the other for their jam anymore.
Just no interest in what they doing.
Don't know lah.
Can't even make up my mind on the reason.
Just let it be.
But Shima still treat me as her best friend.
Said that our time together was the memorable moments for her.
Who cares.
Let them have their time together.
Wanna cry but my eyes too dried of tears.
For the time being.
I want to be alone.
No Shima.
No Izam.
Till i'm ok.
Then i'll contact them.

I haven't told my parents about the result.
Because i'm waiting for the Mother's day celebration to passed then i'll tell them.
I don't want to break the haapiness they're having for the Mother's Day which happened on Saturday last week.
We had bought KFC and Pizza Hut for the celebration.
Even called down our cousin to joined in the celebration.
It was great.
I ate alot.
Can't missed this opportunity of a lifetime.
Ate till my stomach was like three month pregnant.
Hehe.
So around this coming Wednesday when the result is sent to my home.
I'll tell my parents.
Hopefully can go some where.
Truthfully.
I don't even have the strength to move ahead.
To me.
All that's in front is in the darkness.
I just leave everything to God to decide.
I just lost my spirit to continue this life.
Life had never been niced to me.
I understand it now.
Hate life.
So i'll tell my parents on Wednesday then.
See how it goes.
Probably going to NS.
Yup.

Jannah,a friend i get to know from my last time workplace,Mcdonald,had feelings to me since last time.
She is great person to me.
Recently she confess to me her feelings.
But like i always said.
I can't have any relationship anymore.
I stopped it since last time.
So sorry that she had to hear it.
But she still will have the feelings to me.
Forever.
I'll cherish that from her.
She is the nice type of girl.
That i know.
Known her for so long.
All her character i knew.
Hehe.
She even told me to stopped drinking slowly.
So caring.
Awww.
Hehe.
But i told her straight that she can find a better guy than me.
I realised i'm not meant to have relationship.
I've accepted what's meant to be for me.

Result Out-May Not Able To Blog Anymore.

2005-05-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

Now Listening To:Luka Seribu Rindu By Fotograf.

The result is out today.
Check my result.
And what to say.
Not allowed to continue in this course.
Haiz.
My fingers are shaking now holding on to the news i got.
Trying to hold on to the sadness.
Even worse.
Failed everything.
Haiz.
So sad.
But what happened.
Had happened.
Later going to explain to my mum about this.
She's not going to be quite glad to hear the news.
Haiz.
What i'm going to do with the rest of this life.
Hmm.
Guess going to NS then.
No choice.
That's the only way i have now.
Even my mum said that if i failed just go NS.
She can't say much since she received the warning letter that the poly sent to my home because of my attendence.
I should have known that i'm not capable in poly.
But no.
My parents had to psycho me.
Well.
It's been nice being in this poly for a year.
All the people i got to know.
Especially Banu,Michelle,Faredz,Clive,Qi Xiang and the rest of the classmates.
They are all great friends i've known since in this poly.
This is what it meant to be.
I bet later my classmates will check this entry to find out how i did.
Well.
It's nice knowing you guys.
Will never forget you guys.
Now i've to discuss with my mum.
See if she agreed if i'm going to NS.
And i'll not be going to blog much in the future.
Because why.
Because i'll be in the camp for two and a half years going through my NS.
Come out also just to meet up my friends and Shima.

Talking about Shima.
Told her on the phone just now.
She felt sad for me too.
She asked me to cheer up.
Let it be lah k.
I just can't speak much.
Meeting her later.
If not going town to buy her slippers.
But i don't have the mood.
Lost it.
So just sit at her house and do nothing.
That's what i guess.

It's been great blogging here.
Anyway.
Thanks for all that had visited my blog.
Your presence is much appreciated.
Hope you all just enjoy what's left of it.
Will not delete though.
Memories are all etched in it.
So NS.
Here i come.
Mostly likely i go to Army.
Because i have the basics learnt in NCC during my secondary school days.
So the goverment will surely sent me to Army.
Been nice blogging here.
I'll blog again when i have the time.
Just you guys read what's left of it.

Going to explain to my mum now.
So long guys.
Take care always.
And have a fun life ahead.
Bye........

Hate Boss Attitude

2005-05-03T11:27:00.000-07:00

Now Listening To:Usah Diturutkan Kata Hati By Data

Sunday was quite a busy day.
Full house at my workplace.
Some more it's Labour Day.
So all the fuckers ang mohs was not working.
Nabei Teng Teng.
Hehe.
So i,Deva and the new kid were working our bones off.
The new kid kept following me where ever was going.
Can't he left me alone and go do his stuff.
Bothering people only.
Chicken head.
Hehe.
He could have consult Deva on what to do.
Deva know more things than me.
Because that "Blackie" had work longer days than me hor.
I worked only for about a month and half only.
And the new kid kept telling me that table want to order this table want to order.
I had already alot of things to handle that time.
Because of him kept disturbing me.
I cocked-up all the things.
Wrong dish sent to wrong table.
Some more the customer was the fucker type.
Cannot wait for their food to come out.
Liked never ate for fifty years like that.
Nabei Teng Teng.
Hehe.
Then the boss,Andy The Motherfucker,came into the bar and was liked all ready to blow his top.
Scold me for sending the wrong table.
And the thing that made me really want to kill that Andy was that he almost scolded me Fuck You!
I could hear him say "F..."
That was the thing that made me really angry with the old bastard that was just about to stabbed him with the glasses that i was holing in my hand.
Nabei Teng Teng!
I heard from the others which was mainly Chinese and Indian that he never scolded them the 'F' word.
But to me he dared to say that.
When some one said the 'F' word to you it already shows that the person never respect you.
That he wanted to search for a fight.
I promised myself since that day i will not be nice to the old bastard.
I will only talked about work to him.
No more Mr. Nice Guy to him.
Go and die is all that i care.
Hehe.
You give good to people.
People give shit to you.
I cursed Andy that his children will be scolded the 'F' word by people when they grow up ar.
Let him felt what it's liked to be scolded that.
Nabei Teng Teng.

Saturday decided to went out with Shima to Beauty World Plaza.
She wanted to buy her mascaraand some other stuff.
After that planned to go town to buy her clothings.
But in the morning i met my friend first.
We went to his cousin house to repair the comp.
After that had a bite at the coffee shop.
It was already about time for me to met Shima at outside Beauty World Plaza.
Reaching one in the afternoon already at my watch.
So i told my friend that i had to go already.
Had to meet Shima.
My friend said that she can wait.
He wanted to lepak at the coffee shop smoked drink coffee.
So i decided to called Shima that i'll be abit late.
Shima was already reaching the meeting place.
I just said to her to wait.
After lepak for awhile with my friend helping him to buy 4D.
I straight away took the bus to meet Shima.
Supposedly meeting her at one but reached there at around two thirty.
Shit!
Was late though.
Shima was furious with me.
She said that she had to wait there liked a siao girl for more than an hour for me.
When i reached i already said that i'm sorry for the lateness.
Even explained to her why i'm late.
But still she was nagging and giving me lecture that she was waiting for so long.
Shima was damn boring that time.
Haiz.
I kept saying that i'm sorry but still she lecture on.
By that time i was already getting angry and pissed off with her lecture that i scold her.
I scolded her with all the word "bitch","fuck","cibai","lost interest on her" and some other things.
I know i should have not said all that.
But i was to angry with her.
I already said i'm sorry but still she made so much fuss.
Shima then started to have tears rolling down her cheeks.
I tried to coax her but she just carried on into the Plaza to settled her things.
For a moment we never spoke.
Try to cooled down.
After a while.
I started to talked to her.
Asked about the things she's buying.
One question i asked her.
One answer she gave me.
Could see taht she was frustrated and hurt by what i said.
Haiz.
After she bought her things i told her let's go to town to buy her clothings.
She replied that it was no need to go to town.
She gave the excused that she was to tired to go town after waiting so long.
Ok lor.
Your choice lor.
I hate want to coax all this.
Especially girls.
Wanna act cute only.
Go to hell lah!
Hehe.
But quite felt sorry for her to wait one and half hour for me.
Haiz.

After my work on Saturday night.
Decided to called her and said sorry.
Told her that i was not mend to made her wair so long.
So sorry baby.
By then she was already ok.
Calmed her storm down already.
Hehe.
So Shima asked if on Sunday i was free.
Shima wanted to meet me after Saturday's arguement.
Hehe.
Pity her so i decided to meet her on last Sunday.
Told her that if she want it could be during the early afternoon.
As night i got work.
So we went to town to get her shopping done and when to eat at Long John Silver.
After that sent her home and went back to get ready for my work that night.

On this Thursday going to meet Siti forthe first time.
I just regard her as my friend.
Not more then that.
Relationship is not for me.
Even Shima i never regard as my official girlfriend.
So entertaining her crap lah.
Hehe.
Lending Siti the vcd Shutter.
She wanted to see it.
So as a friend i don't mind.
This Thursday meeting her for lunch at Woodlands as she needs to go to work at Yio Chu Kang after the lunch.
So i'll update on what i think of her k.

P.S:Like the word Nabei Teng Teng.So teh stylish.Learned it from Deva my working colleage.

Thon At Pasir Ris.(Sequel To Pasir Ris Beach)

2005-04-29T12:55:00.000-07:00

Now Listening To:Pertama By Exists.

Tired.
So tired.
Wednesday when to Pasir Ris beach with my members.
Never expected to thon there.
Hehe.
Izam and Khai had went to buy the drinks.
And they were Absolute Vodka,Jack Daniel's,E33 and the rest were beers.
Woa!
That was quite heavy right.
Damn right it is.
Hehe.
When we reached there weren't much people.
So have the whole beach to ourselves.
Hehe.
Shima was not quite glad with us drinking to our hearts contend.
She have always been anti-drinking.
Hehe.
So what.
Non of my problem.
Haha.
The only thing i think of is to enjoy all the way while we're at the beach.
It's not like always we had that chanced.
Hehe.
It was already around eleven in the night.
And the lights from the nearby lamp post is not that bright.
Cursed the lamp post.
Hehe.
We all opened the bottles and drank till the limit we could take.
Izam,Boy,Izzati and Khai played poker as they drank.
I,Shima,Yati and Rizal just talked the night away.
Joking away as we laughed.
Hehe.
Great time.
Rizal and me drank the beers and E33.
While the rest except Shima and Yati drank Absolute Vodka and Jack Daniel.
Shima and Yati was the only person that never drank.
Well.
Can't force her though.
It's better that she never drank.
Girls drinking is bad to the eyesight.
Hehe.
Curiousity caught up with me.
I wanted to try the Absolute Vodka and Jack Daniel.
Shima declined.
But i just told her i wanted to drink it and went to Izam and the others.
Izam without hesitation passed it to me.
He was smiling all the way.
Can see that his drunk from his droopy eyes.
Hehe.
And when i try the Jack Daniel.
Waliao!
Woa!
Double woa!
Damn bitter.
Heavy siak.
Hehe.
After a while get the hang of Jack Daniel and Absolute Vodka.
Great!
Hehe.
It was already around two in the morning.
The wind was cooling.
Even the place was a nice sight to sleep.
Hehe.
I decided to relax beside the peaceful sea with Shima.
By that time i was already drunk.
Even the way i walked was not straight.
Haha.
Crazy me.
Whatever.
Shima and me sat at the beach and enjoyed the waves crashing to the land.
Wow.
It was so nice during the night.
Seeing the lights from the other side of the area adds to the magnificent look.
Guess the light was from the factory there.
Hehe.
Don't know.
Don't care.
We talked about what happened recently.
Joking and disturbing her on the way.
She was so pretty busking under the night's sky.
Shima said that she felt heart pained seeing me drinking my life away.
I told her that life was never kind to me.
I lost much things and my heart was toiled numerous time.
I said to her that hopefully she will not take it heart on what happened to me.Idon't her to be sad or trouble by me.
I don't want others to behurt because of me.
She understand my feelings.
But she said it's still not right to waste the life by drinking.
Replyed her when the time come i'll stopped all this crapped.
Just let me time to find peace in this life.
Then the rest of what happened that night is private.
Can't tell it here lah.
Secrecy.
Hehe.
Went back to the bench where the others were supposed to be by around four plus.
Was quite shocked though.
Wanna know why.
There wasn't anyone there.
When the return.
Izam,Boy,Khai and Izzati had when to the bushes nearby.
Do their stuff lor.
Hehe.
All drunk mah.
Don't even wanna know what they were doing there.
Hehe.
Rizal and Yati when to another place to have their privacy also.
Hehe.
All was split to different point of the place.
Doing their stupig stuff.
Hehe.
Then we all slept for awhile untill almost six in the morning.
Even all the drinks that were bought all dried up.
Drank to last drop.
Hehe.
Shima and i were sleeping soundly beside each other.
Took the first bus to Pasir Ris Station.
And the first train home.
We were all slacked in the train.
Each one of us were resting liked a dead log.
Hehe.
Sent Shima home.
As she was quite tired.
Pity her lor.
Hehe.
Told her i'm meeting my friend to accompany him repair his hp.
Shima told me if can no need to accompany him lah.
She know i'm tired and my head was feeling heavy.
But i don't want to put aside friends.
So she just let it be.
Took the train from Yishun and went all the way back to Jurong.
Was tired actually.
Pushed myself to tahan the heaviness.
Hehe.
Went with my friend at eight plus but the shop opened at nine.
Aiyoh!
Still had to wait.
Head already heavy hor.
Hehe.
So we went to the nearest coffee shop and had coffee.
In fact.
It calm my head abit.
Ahhh.
That's better.
Hehe.
Then at night work as usual.
Not much people though.
Good.
Do all the necessary stuff there and went home to sleep till it's time to go work.
Reached home have to be lectured by my mum.
Peng story that my workplace made a last minute planning chalet outing.
Hehe.
Naughty Juf.
Hehe.

Now at Shima house.
Doing blog.
While Shima was going through our photos that were taken by her handy useful and reliable digital camera.
Oh yah guys.
You all wanna see Izam tattoo.
Here it is.

How is it.
Nice right.
I want to make something like that.
Power!
Salute Izam ar my bro.
This is his latest one.

Love it.
Izam really become like this since he's bastard by his sundal ex.
Pity him.
Well.
Let's get back to what happen during my stay at Shima house yar.
If not meeting her at around two in the afternoon today.
Then can meet my friend first.
But Shima wanted to have breakfast with me.
She's cooking fried rice with fishball.
Delicious!
Hehe.
She's a great cook you know.
Hehe.
Can be a good wife too.
Crazy Juf.
Hehe.
Later around four in the afternoon have to go home.
Working today with Deva and Carolline.
Accompany Shima for the time being.
As today her class is cancelled.
Wah!
That girl really enjoy lah.
Hehe.
Good for her lah.
Well guys.
Got to go.
Have something to do with Shima.
Helping her out.
Till i blog again.
Chao peepz!

Pasir Ris Beach

2005-04-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

Now Listening To:Hanya Engkau Kekasih By Mamat Exists.

Hello!
Haha.
Crazy me.
Ok.
Let's get down to some serious ya!
Yesterday decided to accompany my friend to Pasir Ris Resort.
So i thought of going to the beach.
Because i'm already there so better use the opportunity to see the beach.
By that time it was already reaching ten in the night.
I'm all alone.
Sitting by the sea.
Cooling.
Peaceful.
You can calm the mind being at the beach during the night.
As the wind blows softly.
And the waves greeted you with them hitting the coasty sand.
Around twelve midnight reached Jurong.
And heard that my members were at the kopitiam.
At Jurong West.
So because this is the holiday.
As poly is closed for the moment.
I decided to lepak with them.
Around one or two,Shima reached by taking the taxi.
Aiyoh!
It was already late night and she came all the way from Yishun.
She said at home was boring.
Told her parents she wanted to lepak with me and friends.
Then came down all the way here.
Problematic girl.
Hehe.
Just because i came down.
She also want to lepak with me.
Well.
I can't be bother.
Just want to enjoy this life till i'm gone.
So we open bottle.
This time six to eight bottle.
I just drank about five or six glass.
Can't really remember.
Abit drunk already.
Hehe.
Shima had the worry look at her face.
But liked i care hor.
Hehe.
After finished.
I took the same taxi with Shima.
Sent her home.
And reached home around five in the morning.
Feeling drunk.
Thank goodness by the time i reached home my parents were all already sleeping.
So i quietly bathed and threw myself to the bed.
Slept till around eleven this morning.
All and all.
It was fun.
Haha.

Today decided to go to the Pasir Ris beach again.
But this time with Shima and my members.
Not alone liked yesterday.
Hehe.
I want Shima to enjoyed the sea scenery.
She had only seen West Coast beach.
This time let's take the challenged to the max!
Hehe.
So now already at Shima house.
Waiting for her to get ready and all.
Loved it when she wear the tudung.
Looked so preety and lady-liked.
Hehe.
Meeting the others.
Rizal,Izam,Boy,Khai,Yati and Izzati at Pasir Ris station.
Shima better get ready fast or we'll be late.
Oh yah.
Must remind Shima to bring digital camera.
My members all wanted to open bottle beside the sea.
Liked it was not enough yesterday had drinks.
Hehe.
Izam going to bring his poker card.
And Yati be bringing her discman with speaker.
So it'll be a hell of a night there.
But i'm thinking of having the quiet time with Shima by the sea.
A peaceful moment with her.
Awww.
Bluek!
Want to vomit.
Haha.
Alright then.
Shima is ready already.
All set to attacked Pasir Ris beach.
Ok lah folks.
Got to go.
Chao peepz!
Hehe.

Funeral Song

2005-04-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

I dumped you again
I don't understand
It's happened before
Can't take it no more

These foolish games
Always end up in confusion
I'll take you back
Just to leave you once again

I died in my dreams
What's that supposed to mean
Got lost in the fire
I died in my dreams
Reaching out for your hand
My fatal desire

I've failed you again'
Cause I let you stay
I used to pretend
That I felt ok

Just one big lie
Such a perfect illusion
I made you mine
Just to hurt you once again.

Review On The Pacifier.

2005-04-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

Now Listening To:Nian Di Hati By Siti Nurhaliza.

Yup!
Yesterday watch The Pacifier with Shima.
Great show with a kicked to it.
Love the deadly duck.
Cute.
Funny.
Seeing it walking as it shake its little cutie feather.
Haha.
Vin Diesel bitten by by the duck on the ear.
If the duck never let go.
More better.
Even The Chans family was bitten by the duck.
But this time the deadly bit his "little brother".
Hehe.
It was so funny.
Still remember what Lulu say about Shane's chest.
She thought it was his boobs.
Haha.
Big chest means big boobs izzit.
Hehe.
So the hilarious.
It was so unexpected that the one who sent Shane to do the babysitting is actually the bad guy.
Like they always say.
Expect the unexpected.
Yup!
It's true.
You can expect girls wearing scarfs to be the type of goody-to-shoes.
But actually they are more heartless and bitched then those at Geylang.
Haha.
I'm right you know.
So be careful of this type of people.
Heed my warning all men.
Then why Shima wore scarf since she know me.
Just because want to looked more innocent and good izzit.
Boleh belah ar!
Hehe.
Well.
I don't have the answer for that.
I'll need to do some research on this.
Hehe.
But the movie was so nice.
I don't mind watching it again and again and again.
The list go on.
Hehe.
Can say Shima was not concentrating on the movie.
Bloody idiot auntie.
Hehe.
You come to the movie to watch movie.
Not to stare at your partner.
Waste of money if like that.
Hehe.
She was like looking at me.
And i was there giggling and enjoying myself.
Watching how the Plummer family kick butt.
Hehe.
Well.
That's her problem.
She waste it on the movie is not my bother.
After the movie we went for a bite then window shopping at Orchard.
By the time we reached Shima house.
It was already eight thirty in the night.
So sent her home and went straight home to freshen up.
Have a quick drink.
And slept early.

Well.
During the LabourDay.
My work mates wanted to go out for an outing.
Those working at the kitchen as chefs wanted to go KTV.
And it's like all is Chinese.
So i thought about it.
They will usually want to sing Chinese songs.
But it'll be like boring.
I can't even understand what it means.
Damn.
So i told them i'm not going.
Furthermore.
There isn't any hostess to enjoy.
It'll be boring.
So the boring.
So i'll give it a miss.
Hehe.

Today guess another dull day.
Maybe i'll just call down my members and have a drink or two.
That'll be better then lying down and waste this corpse away.
Hehe.

I've been searching for this song for the very long time.
This song explains how i felt inside.
The sadness and the pain i've been keeping it all along in my heart without anyone noticing it.
This song tells how i'm bleeding inside since i break with my first love,Hidayah.
A sad song indeed.

Not Working Today.

2005-04-25T14:14:00.000-07:00

Now listening to:First Day Of My Life By The Rasmus.

Haha.
A great Monday to you all!
Yah.
Hehe.
Yesterday work was ok.
Eventhough made some cocked-up with the drinks.
Hehe.
But the boss don't mind.
That's good.
And today the new malay girl,Yani,started her training this morning.
How does it go yar.
I wonder.
Hehe.
She's usually going to work in the morning shift.
As Deva,one of my work mates,is going to start his poly soon.
Very the soon.
Hehe.
So can't see Yani much.
As i'm usually in the night shift.
But one of this day i bet we'll going to work on the same shift.
And let's see if Yani can do it without cocked-up.
Especially in peak periods.
Hehe.
So she started her day at the restaurant just now at eleven in the morning.

Yipeee!
I'm so happy.
Today no need to replace Deva for his night shift.
Well.
The story goes like this.
Deva's leg been fractured after his soccer match on Saturday.
So the boss told him if he wanted to rest.
The boss said that i'll be on standby today if Deva can't be coming for his work today.
Due to his leg.
But just now called the restaurant the boss said i don't need to come today.
But i've to come on Thursday.
Guess they don't have enough people.
Well.
That's better then have to work today.
I've work three days straight go last week.
Some more on peeak periods.
So i atleast need a day or two rest first before going back work.
Thank God.
Hehe.
So later can relax and watch The Pacifier with Shima.
Later going to meet her to watch the movie at Orchard Cineleisure.
Rest i will.
Hehe.
Later i'll give my comment on the movie yar.
Hehe.

On Saturday accompany Shima to town.
As she wanted to buy Levi's jeans and her Burberry's perfume.
And it cost damn ex.
Hundred plus siol.
I recommend her to buy just those cheap perfumes at departmental stores.
But Shima told me that she's been using the perfume since last time.
Even before knowing me.
Ok lor.
Don't want to argue.
Hate to argue.
Argue also will not have any ends.
So better let her do what she wanted yar.
Hehe.
She wanted to buy for me a Levi's jeans also.
But i don't want.
I don't like using girl's money.
Not good hor.
Hehe.
So Shima just bought her square-cut Levi's jeans.
The new type that just come out from Levi's.
After buying her things.
We went to have lunch at Seoul Garden.
She wanted so the much to eat at Seoul Garden.
Been long since she have not been eating there.
Hehe.
Funny girl.
More to crazy girl.
Hehe.
After that sent her home and i went to work.

Saturday was peak period.
Alot of reservation.
Luckily.
The reservation for twenty person is cut down to twelve.
Guess the rest eight is not able to come.
Good lor.
Kena shot i think.
Hehe.
But it was still hard.
Furthermore.
Jessie give a "no-show".
She never come for work.
Quite angry with her.
But what to do.
Attitude mah.
Hehe.
Then.
Deva's leg fractured.
If not the boss suggests that Deva went home.
But he wanted to stay.
Thank you Deva.
Hehe.
Then the boss called the restaurant at East Coast to sent one worker to our restaurant as we don't have enough people.
They sent Azman.
A twenty two cool guy.
Can get along with him.
Hehe.
And he ride a TZR bike.
After work try on his bike.
Alright.
Black colour bike.
Nice.
Target that kind of bike.
Hehe.
Learn from him at his restaurant at East Coast have different way of working surrounding.
At East Coast.
Those who work as waiter just need to do their waiter stuff.
Not more then that.
That mean they no need to sweep and mop the store when closing.
That'll will be the work of the cleaner during next morning.
Great siak.
Not like our place.
Closing we had to sweep and mop the restaurant.
That's why go home late.
Haiz.

Yestreday after work.
Siti miss call me.
Surely wanted to talk to me.
But i'm too tired after work to call her back.
Too tired want to waste my time bothering this girls.
What to talk.
If as friends.
I don't mind.
But if more then that.
Sorry lor.
I've no time to entertain all this relationship thingy.
Waste of my life.

Oh yah.
Enjoy the new song i put at my blog.
Nice song.
Liked the starting melody.
Hehe.

Mengapa Sukar Untuk Setia

2005-04-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

Ku sangka hadir mu membalut luka ku
Tapi luka ku makin parah
Ku sangka bahagia bersama mu
Sebaliknya sakit hati ku
Lidah tak bertulang
Pandai bermain kata-kata
Sikap manusia pandai berpura-pura

Mengapa sukarnya untuk kau setia pada ku
Sedangkan dulu engkau pernah
Melafazkan cinta mu
Sambil kau berjanji membalut luka ini
Dan hidup bahagia
Mengapa kau
Kau dustai ku yang setia pada mu sayang

Mengapa kau tidak menghargai cinta
Dan kasih sayang ku terhadap mu
Ubahlah sikap mu insaflah wahai sayang ku
Tak guna menyesal bila balasan tiba

Ku bermohon pada Tuhan merawat luka
Agar jiwa ini
Kembali bahagia
Setelah engkau melukai

A day that's boring

2005-04-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

Hmm.
Nothing much to say.
Been like two or three days never blog.
Much to do.
Been busy.
Aiyah Juf.
You always busy wan.
Hehe.
It was great fun going Wild Wild Wet with my members.
Splashing.
All the way.
I think that's why they called the place Wild Wild Wet.
Because of the wild we'll be having there.
After joking around at the pool for a while.
All of us went for a bite.
Nice food.
Nice place.
Hehe.
Nothing much to say.
Just that you guys have to experienced it.

Yesterday after a light day at work.
Went to drink with my friend at the coffee shop.
We only open one bottle.
He had to get home early.
As he have class test today.
So after a bottle went straight home.
My head felt heavy to wake up.
Guess need more time to rest after yesterday drink.
Hehe.
Shima dislikes i went to drink yesterday ater work.
But people want to relieve stress and cool down the aching body lah.
So i just do what i want lah.
Haha.
Now also felt abit giddy doing this damn blog.
Hehe.
So after this i'm going straight to my pillow.
Go dreamland.
Hehe.
Holiday can be so boring.
Well.
Tomorrow going to be a hard day at work.
A reservation of twenty people for a table.
God damn bloody.
Hehe.
Now listening to.
Kasihmu Seakan Berubah.
By Siti Nordiana.
Sentimental indeed this song.
Awww.
Fuct ar.
Haha.

Thought of going to Shima house this afternoon.
Just lepak there.
Boring lah at home.
I'll confirm with her later.
She should be home around two.
If not she wanna me accompany her home after school.
But i say lazy lah auntie.
Hehe.
Cannot go home on your self is it.
Like people going to kidnapped you.
Hehe.
Later then can talk if she's free to let me come her home.

You guys know what.
I admit my character's different from last time.
Ever since the incident of the jail.
Now i'm more like being quiet and in a daze.
Never talk much to people.
And even the way i talk to people is different.
Not as energetic like last time when i'm in sec years.
So hyper.
So happy.
Hehe.
Just imagine being in the jail for three days in sch uniform.
Bare-footed.
And have to sustain with the damn cold of the air-con.
Some more all alone in the cell.
Just think of it.
Have to be looking to the wall.
Like a mad man.
As if i'm in a IMH.
Haha.
You guys know what's IMH right.
No need for me to elaborate on it.
Hehe.
So all this blame it on that jail cell.
Damn!
Hehe.

Just now have a conversation with my mom.
She disliked me having sign-on to NS for five years.
Aiyah!
Difficult lah like this.
She said after two and a half years in NS.
Better find job.
And she want me to work in an office.
Hmm.
Office boy not bad har.
Hehe.
But i want to work at a warehouse.
Just need to carry in the goods to the store when the goods arrive.
Hard lah like that.
But one thing i told her.
With the pay i received from my full-time work i'll just want to use it to take care of my parents.
Marry is out of my dictionary.
So scary.
So difficult.
Have to plan all the things.
Hard right.
Better don't marry.
Better don't have relationship.
Hehe.
Life is complicated for me.
Haiyah!
Haha.

Specially from Shima

2005-04-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went to meet Shima.
At around six pm go straight to her house at Yishun.
She opened the door with a wide smack of a smile on her face.
What she's so happy.
Crazy gal.
Haha.
She told me that she want me to hear a song she's going to sing as a karaoke.
The title is Dian Asmara.
By Safura.
Oh what the heck.
I just entertain her crap lah k.
Hehe.
So i sat on the couch and watch her starts to sing.
Then.
I gasp.
My God.
Her voice was really good.
And i mean good!
Hehe.
She really can sing.
All the notes were able to hear.
And the lyrics were well sang.
I admit.
I was touch by her.
So special.
So unique.
Oh no!
Am i starting to really fall in love with her.
Is she winning the battle of getting my love.
I've to fight hard.
Can't be weak.
Can't let girls take over my heart.
A heart that's been tainted by girl's false promises.
The song she sang was full with expressions.
I just smiled there as i watch her show.
But in my heart.
I was loving her every single way.
Shit!
I must fight this battle.
I took out my handphone.
And decided to record her voice.
It was sentimentally melodious.
Hear it yesterday night as i lie down to sleep.
She's so the sweet lah.
Haha.
So yesterday just sat in her house as she cooked for me some dishes.
If not wrong.
She cooked Ayam Lemak Cili Padi.
Yummy!
Her food was so nice that i eat two rounds.
Haha.
Can't resist her dish.
Drooling already.
Hehe.
Alright Juf.
Stop it.
Hehe.

Today me and all my members.
Izam,Rizal,Boy,Khairul,Yati and Shima decided to go Wild Wild Wet.
At Pasir Ris.
Meeting them three o'clock at Pasir Ris station.
But i've to fetch Shima first from her house.
Then we'll go together.
It must be fun.
Shima yesterday told me that she wanted to wear bikini.
But i reluctantly disagreed.
Guys will be flocking there.
And i don't want them to keep eyeing Shima.
Dig their balls out.
Haha.
So i suggests Shima to just wear swimsuit covered by t-shirt and shorts.
That'll be better.
Yup!
That's better.
One thing for sure.
I'll disturb Shima at there when we went into the pool.
Hehe.
Always be.
Haha.
Love to disturb her.

Today my dad's off day.
He just stay at home watching tv and munching.
That's his routine if he never work.
Munch like a pig.
Haha.
Can't be bothered with him though.
Just can't stand his attitude.
Crazy freak!
Haha.
Sometime angry.
Somtime smiling.
Crazy dude he is.
Yup!
Haha.
Even my mom know that i don't liked my dad.
She can see it through.
Haha.
Mother's intuition.
But who give a damn with it right.

So that's all for now.
Can't blog much.
More surprises entry in later days.
Hehe.
Then it'll be interesting.
For the mean time.
Enjoy the song Berhenti Berharap by Sheila On 7.
Love that song.
Have all the meaning to my life.
The lyrics are on the right.
Gonna get ready to go Wild Wild Wet with my bros and sis.
Boboi!

Fne!Fine!Fine!

2005-04-18T12:50:00.001-07:00

First thing first.
I wanna shout.
Arrrggghhh!
Shit!
I kena fine by those bloody Natinonal Environment Act.
Fuck You National Environment Act!
N.B.C.B!
Because of them two hundred bucks just fly away like that.
I can carry on the whole day scolding those motherfuckers!
But give them face ar.
Haha.
It happened last friday.
I was with my friend,Hafiz.
We decided to go and have a puff.
So we went to the busstop at T1A of my school.
We start as usual.
Lit our cigarette and puff away.
Good.
Nice.
Then after we had finish.
Just left the butt.
We throw on the ground.
Like always we did.
And at that time.
My bus arrived.
I was about to board the bus.
When suddenly.
One motherfucker asshole pulled my bag from behind.
I turned around.
And saw a chinese guy in specs.
Blind asshole!
Haha.
He show his bloody pass.
And ask for my particulars.
He said that i'm being fine for throwing the cigarette butt on the floor.
What a fuck!
FUCK!
I was just about to go home hor.
And this son of a bitch is disturbing me.
Son of a tutu!
Hehe.
He brought us to the side and take down our particulars.
I gave him my EZ-link as my particulars.
But that N.B.C.B wanna my IC.
I told him that i never bring my IC.
Said in a fuck tub manner.
He said that they had been receiving alot of complains about people littering cigarette butt at that busstop.
So what!
I never give a damn on what people complained lor.
Like i care.
Then he said that i've to pay two hundred bucks by 31/5/05.
Even Hafiz can't ran away.
He also had to pay that amount by the same date.
Really pissed of that day.
Haiz.
Looks like my pay going to reduced by two hundred bucks.
Sien.
Shima know about this.
At first she's abit angry with my carelessness.
But do i give a damn.
No!
I have no time to bother with her crap.
Many things i've to think about.
Shima wanted to pay for me.
But i told her i rather settle this with my own money.
I don't want to be a burden for her.
Furthermore.
I don't like to use girl's money.
Not polite.
Malu lor.
Hehe.
So later when i get my pay i'll settle it.

Saturday went out with Shima around two plus.
Went to watch movie.
Sahara.
It was abit suspense.
Shima was all the way tring to hide her small cute face in my arms.
The suspense was just too much for her.
She was so afraid when Samara slowly crept out of the well and slowly out of the television.
I liked the graphic they did when the kid was in the bathtub and Smara was holding on to him.
Seeing all the water at the ceiling was niced.
I can see Shima was almost into tears.
Hehe.
Small kid with a small heart.
Haha.
bad siak Juf.
Always am.
Always do.
But kind of liked disturbing her though.
Hehe.
Total.
I give the movie four out of five star.
After the movie.
Sent Shima home.
And when to work.

Work was shit that day.
Alot of bloody customer.
Haha.
Never stop even until closing.
Stupid ang moh.
Finish eating go home lah.
Still wanna sit and talk.
Don't want to sleep is it.
Make our life burden only.
Damn tired that day.
Whole body is aching like fuck.
If only Shima was there to give a nice massage.
Haiz.

Either yesterday or Saturday.
Siti called me.
She asked if today i'm free.
Wanna have a bite or watch movie together.
Told her for now no money lor.
Pay haven't get yet.
She abit sad about the outcome.
But i have no time to entertain girl's crap.
All i know they can just go fly kite else where.
Haha.
First thing first.
I don't have time to entertain all this girls.
I have much more better things to do rather than being with girls.
Life much more fun and interesting being alone and single.
Haha.
So whether she can tahan with my attitude.
That's her problem.
Haha.

On Labour Day.
My work place will be closing for that day.
That's in Monday.
So.
All the waiter and the waiteress there have decided.
On that day.
We want to gather.
For a drink.
Yipeee!
Haha.
Planned to sit at coffee shop and drink.
Will be buying Tiger,Jim Beam,Absolute Vodka,Corona.
By that time already get pay.
So have a night out.
Will confirm with the rest of them in later days.

Later afternoon going to Shima's house.
She said she have a surprise for me.
Wonder what it is.
Hmm.
Well.
Let's see then.
Hehe.

Well.
Sorry guys if today's entry have alot of the "F" words.
Hehe.
Just felt pissed lor.
Chao peeps!

Maybe Cancel

2005-04-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

I think today's playing of pool maybe mostly likely be cancel.
If not me,Shidah and Muhd will be planning to play pool to celebrate Shidah's birthday.
But neither of them reply my message or gave me a call.
So guess it's cancel.
Haha.
They with their schedule.
But who cares.
I don't give a damn.
If they want to play.
I don't mind joining them.
But if they don't want.
I don't lose a thing.
Hehe.
Furthermore i've a lot of things to do with the time given to me.

First of all.
I'm waiting for Muhsin to finished his exam his having now.
Muhsin is a ex-mate of mine in sec school.
And his in the same poly with me.
But too bad.
Different course.
Well.
Atleast we're in the same poly right.
Hehe.
Then see how.
If Muhd never reply my message to go pray.
Then maybe i'm going with Muhsin.
After go pray.
If Shidah never reply to go play pool.
Then i'll be going straight home to rest for awhile.
Then around six pm i'll have to go work.
Work.
Haiz.
The name only gives me the jitters.
Haha.
But what to do.
To get money to buy my cigarettes and the things i've wanting to buy.
So have to tahan lah yah.
Hehe.

Yesterday have a fast chat on the phone with Siti.
The girl that contact me that time.
Find out she's twenty and not schooling anymore.
Some more she's staying at Marsiling.
What a fcuk.
Haha.
So damn far.
Fly kite also have'nt reach.
Haha.
But she some sort of don't like the way i talk to her.
Rough.
She said that i must respect girls.
After the short conversation.
I message her and said that i'm sorry if i make her think i don't respect girls.
It's just that.
I've been too musch hurt by girls that i don't want to respect them.
If we respect them.
They will toil with us.
Play with our hearts like we're dolls with no feelings.
Shit girls.
When she say like that.
Do you think i care.
I don't give a FUCK about what she think!
I hate girls.
Girls are bitches.
Sell love like they're are cheap things.
Haha.
I wonder who's the motherfucker who pass my number.
All the way to Marsiling.
Motherfucker bitch!
Hehe.
Well.
If she think i'm not the kind of guy for her to contact.
Then she can get the haul out of here.
Haha.
I'm happy with my life without anyone bothering me.
So don't think she'll be the first one.
Haha.

Time

2005-04-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

Farther time
I'm running late
I'm winding down
I'm growing tired
Seconds drift into the night
The clock just ticks till my time expires

You were once my friend
Now I know I can't tie your hands
The days I saved I couldn't spend
They fell like sand through the hourglass
No time to lose
No time to choose

Time taking time
It's taken mine
Scenes of my life seem so unkind
Time chasing time
Creeps up behind
I can't run forever
And time waits for no one
Not even me

An enemy I can't defend
My final place a deadly end
Life's just a speck in space
Dreams of an eternal resting place

I can't get any younger
Time has brutal hunger.

Nothing Much

2005-04-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day i'll be at Shima house.
Six pm her parents will be back.
And she must fetch them at the airport.
And i'm accompanying her also.
Hehe.
So long never been to the airport.
Only once have i been to the airport.
That was when me and my ex-mates sending my sec sch teacher off for his studies.
Quite big har.
No wonder it's a great spot for terrorist.
Haha.
Well.
Today not much happening.
Boring.
Just enjoying the last few moments at her house before i'm kicked-out of her home.
Hehe.

Yesterday went back home for a while.
Around eight pm.
Send Shima home after going to the Esplanade library.
Then i'm off to my house.
Reach there.
Bath.
And have dinner my mum cooked.
Egg curry.
Yum yum.
Drooling already.
Haha.
It's yummy.
Eat twice.
Haha.
My stomach is bloating.
Ya rite.
So after that.
Went back to Shima house and rest there the whole night.
So you see.
I have to balance both my mum and Shima.
That's the way it is.
To make both parties happy.
Hehe.

Hope she transfer the money already.
I really need the money.
My prepaid is low.
Can't message anymore.
And i've to message my bro.
I wander.
What did i got to do with his girl.
To me.
They are all just friends.
Haiz.
Problems feeling up this pathetic world.
Fuck!

So that's all for now.
Update if there's anything else.

The Last Day I Have Spending Solely With Shima

2005-04-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

Well.
It's been great staying two days with Shima.
Tomorrow by six o'clock i've got to get the haul out of her house.
Haha.
Fun was it to be with Shima.
Eating together.
As she cooked for me.
Watch TV together.
As Shima curls warmly in my arms.
Sleeping at her soft bed together.
As she slept soundly in my arms.
Going out to the park and shopping together.
Haiz.
At long last it'll all ends.
But hopefully her parents will be going outstation again next time.
Then we'll have more great time together.
Heard that Shima had made a friendster account.
Just because she wanna get in contact with me.
Gilanya perempuan.
Haha.
I don't mind she having a friendster account.
It's her choice to do what she want.
Furthermore.
We're not even officially stead.
So what i wanna do is my choice.
What she wanna do is her choice then.
At her friendster account she put herself as In A Relationship.
Who's she with in a relationship?!
Hehe.
She and her craze.
Heck care lah yar.
Haha.
Later i'm going to Esplanade with Shima.
Accompany her borrow some Art books at the library.
It's for her ITE's elective module project.
If not i just wanna rest at her house.
It's so warm and comfy.
But she kept pestering me to accompany her so there'll i be going.

Hmm.
Guess what.
Found out the mysterious girl's name who try to call me a few weeks ago.
The name's Siti.
Who the heck also i don't know.
And i don't give a fuck who she is.
Haha.
Last week she asked me to called her when i'm free.
Then when i called her she never picked my calls.
Called that girl for about four or five times.
Never picked up.
Citot betul.
Haha.
Then yesterday night she miss called me.
I just message her who's this auntie.
Told her name as Siti.
And ask me to called her.
Surely her's is free incoming call.
But then.
My prepaid is budget.
So i just told her to message me how she got my number.
She never reply.
And i didn't even give a damn with that crap.
Can't give face to girl's.
All's a bitch.
Haha.
So i just told her when i've top-up i'll give her a call.
That is if she pick up my call lah.
Hehe.

My mum told me to come home if possible.
One or three hours at home then went back to my so called "camp" is good enough for her.
Miss me.
Awww.
Bluek!
Haha.
I think mum loves me too much.
But i've been hurting her eversince i'm young.
Still.
She care and love me.
A mother's love is greater and more powerful than a girl's love.
Right.
Haha.
I'll see how then.
Maybe around seven or eight today i'll drop home for awhile.
After that i went back to Shima house.

Aight then.
Better be leaving now.
Wanna change to go Esplanade.
Can't be wearing shorts and singlet going Esplanade right.

Oh yah.
Hope you guys like my blogskin.
Evanescence.
Love them.
Love them even more when Shima also fond them lots.
I'm the culprit who introduce her to Evanescene's songs.
Haha.
Shima straight away fall in love with their songs.
Gothic Metal.
They're are the best ever.
So both of us.
Shima and me.
Are fans of Evanescence.
Evanescence will go all the way forever.

Chao peepz.

Imaginary(Origin)

2005-04-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops
As they're falling tell a story

If you need to leave the world you live in
Lay your head down and stay awhile
Though you may not remember dreaming
Something waits for you breathe again

Long Last It's Finish

2005-04-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Now i can breath a sigh of relieve.
Aaaah...
My last exam have finish just now.
Now can relax and wait for my sign-on NS.
Haha.
Like real je.
Correct mah what i say.
Surely Maths i fail.
What to do.
Telah happen like that.
Hehe.
Just now Digital Circuit can say it's an easy paper.
But too bad i don't study.
If not can score.
But think back.
No use i score high for this when my MST i score like shit.
Haha.
But one of the question i'm able to copy from one of my classmate.
If get the oppurtunity don't let it slip away.
Make use of it.
To the fullest.
Haha.
I think i can get about two or three marks for it.

Well i've said that i didn't have any more feelings to my ex,Hidayah.
It's true.
Wanna know why.
Her attire compare last time and recently was way too different.
I prefer her last time.
With long hair,long sleeve shirt and jeans.
Now.
With her short hair,tight t-shirts and jeans more look like a kid going kindergarden.
Haha.
Wanna act cute lah that girl.
Boleh Belah ar!
But as long as she's not bothering me.
I'm happy.
She may still remember me as her two years two months relationship.
But i want to forget her.
I want to forget all my ex.
They all can go and die as much as i care.
Hehe.
I don't have any aim or goals in life that i'm chasing.
Nothing.
Just waiting for HIM to take this life.
DIE JUFRI DIE!
Haha.
Crazy me.
Since Hidayah left me for that stick-guy.
My life have not been like it use to.
Happy.
Hyper.
Happening.
No more.
Now just quiet and always in a daze.
Haha.
Think about what also i don't know.
There isn't any feelings for her.
When saw her just now smiling.
Talking to her stick fucking guy.
There isn't any strong beating of my heart.
Not like last time when saw her.
My heart race like fuck.
Hehe.
Now Hidayah is out of the way.
Yana is no more contactable.
I 've stopped messaging Yana since the incident.
Since she patch-up with that fat pig.
I've been wanting for her to stopped contacting me.
But she stubbornly want to message because she regards me as her friend.
Now i have find a reason to lost contact with her.
All thanks to Izam.
My brotha.
Since he psycho me to drink again.
Yana have all the reason to stopped messaging me.
Last time i did drink.
But stopped when i stead with Yana then Rabiah.
After Rabiah.
I have all the space to do what i want.
No one can stop me.
Friends can only advice.
But they can't force.
Except your girl/guy can only have the right to stopped what you're doing that is not right.

I forget to tell you guys where i am right now.
Forgetful me.
Haha.
Some may think i'm at school comp.
But you guys are wrong.
I'm at Shima house.
Tadaa!
Hehe.
When to her house after my paper.
Lazy lah wanna go home early.
The night is still young.
Oh yah.
Today i'm at Shima house in this kind of hours is because......
Her parents are not at home.
More exactly not in Singapore.
Yipeee!
Celebrating two good things.
First.
My exam is over.
Second.
Her parents not in Singapore.
They've gone to Kelantan for a business trip.
So left her all alone.
And i'm here to accompany her.
Got to know this news when she message me while i'm having my exam paper just now.
Hehe.
Straight away i rush to Yishun to meet her.
And i'm sleeping at her house for tonight and only went home in two days time.
Have the whole two days with Shima.
And the excuse i gave my parents is having a school camp which is compulsory to attend.
Haha.
Peng parent number one.
Hehe.
That's what you call Jufri.
Anyway i have some of my clothes at her room so it'll not be a bother.
Now we're opening the music loud.
Maybe the neighbours will complain.
But do we care.
NO!
Haha.
We're enjoying ourselves mah.
Later going down to the park with her after i have a quick bath.
Wanna enjoy the cool night air.
The rest of this week i'm not having any class.
Freedom.
Aaaah.
Then Friday have to work in the evening.
Meeting Muhsin to play PS2 at Munir house in the morning.
Then go play pool with my god-sis,Shahidah and god-bro,Muhd in the afternoon.
After that when to work.
Can say busy day.
Hmmm.

2005-04-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

Someone i saw just now while on the way to school.
You know who.
Hidayah.
Saw her with her guy.
That bloody God Damn Taufiq.
Just walked passed her.
And guess what.
I don't felt anything.
Haha.
Yeah!
Usually i felt a race in my heart when i saw her.
But just now there was no feeling.
Any feeling.
That's a good start.
You know.
That mean i don't have any feelings towards her.
I'm starting to accept that she's a BITCH!
Haha.
Big BITCH with a capital 'B'.
Hehe.
Like it.
No.
Love it.
It shows i don't have any feelings towards her new so-called attire.
Looks more like a small kid now she is.
More Bitch.
Don't even know how to dress.
I just walked passed her with looking in front.
Eventhough she gave a glance to me.
But i just ignored.
Yipee!
I can shout.
I wanna shout.
YEAH!!!
Score a big prize for you Juf.
Nice going.
Alhamdullilah.

Later i'm taking my Digital Circuit exam.
Never study.
Hehe.
I'm sure i'll have to repeat.
MST i score with just a simple 16 marks.
Confirm repeat.
That is if my Maths can pass.
If flunk.
Then NS.
Haiz.
Life is nothing for me.
I'm blank inside.
No aim in my life.
I'm not chasing anything in this life.
So helpless.
Haha.
Whatever!
So i just try my best for my Digital Circuit.
See how far i goes.

Special Gift From Baby.

2005-04-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Two of my exam paper had already past.
Maths and Data Comm.
Comment about them.
Hmm.
Don't have.
Haha.
Importantly to me is Maths.
Which i need to pass or else.
Or else i'm going to be kick-out of poly.
Well.
Like i care like that.
That time on Tuesday when i had my maths paper.
Before i sat for that damn paper.
Tay came to me and ask if i'm ready for it.
I told her that my parents had said.
If i pass my exam than good.
if can't then better i sign-on NS for five years.
Even my parents don'tknow what to said.
Haha.
Tay said that i just need to get fourty plus then she'll help me push my marks to pass.
Yipee!
Thanks Tay.
Later i buy for you teh susu yar.
Haha.
After the exam.
Which i finish first from Michelle,Faredz and Xiang.
Tay was the first to came to me to collect my paper.
She said that she wanted to see me for next semester.
"Don't go NS."
Aiyah!
Even Michelle said in her blog that she wanted to see me next semester.
So many people was blocking me from that door of NS.
haiz.
But if i fail what can i say.
Fate is in GOD's hand.
Let HIM decide yar.
Harhar.

I heard that most of my classmates dislike Hwee Ling.
Is it true?!
Well.
Read Clive blog.
And oh man.
What an arguement they have.
Haha.
Almost a fight i can say.
But who cares.
To me i'm not side to any one.
I'm equal.
Moderate.
I'm ok with all.
A friend to all.
Except one fucking stupig fat bastard!
Just wait and see.
One of this day i'll teach him some lesson.
Of being a mature.
Getting on my nerve that one asshole.
He haven see how when i'm mad.
When i really blow my top with him.
I'll swear will whack him till his not moving an inch.
My ex-sec sch mates knows about my anger.
They even gave me the nickname "Hulk".
Haha.
My bunch of crazy monkey mates.
Love them.
Miss them.
I even had been handcuffed and put into jail for three days.
Imagine that.
A serious anger management problem is on the loose.
Hehe.
One incident in sec years that can't forget.
Just because of beating a guy to a plump the principal called the police.
But now i heard that the guy had changed.
His more mature now.
Even the teachers said that thanks to me the guy is better attitude.
Looks like my anger did some good after all.
Haha.
Crazy me.

Well.
Last Monday went out with Shima.
After her school met her at Bishan MRT station.
As for me.
I'm not schooling on that day.
Exam period.
Shima wanted to go shopping.
She wanted to buy some clothes.
Like her wardrobe had not much clothes in it.
Haha.
Anyway just accompany her.
Later she waste too much of her money lor.
Haha.
I know lah she's a 15K a month earning daughter.
But that does'nt mean she can be spending all of it.
Furthermore she likes me accompanying her.
Shima said that my comment is so much appreciated.
So after meeting her at Bishan.
We head our way to Far East Plaza.
She bought a dark blue long dress and a black long sleeve shirt.
If not she wanted to buy more.
But i stopped her tracks first.
No way!
Haha.
Then we went to this one jewellery shop.
Some sort of like Yellow shop.
She wanted to buy a ring for us.
To show that we're bond together.
Bluek!
I wanna puke.
Hehe.
You guys wanna see the ring.
Here it is.

What do you guys think of it.
Nice right.
Nice is nice.
With the black and two silver lining as the outer layer.
But it cost almost 3o bucks a pair.
One for me and one for Shima.
She said as long as i have feelings to her.
I should wear.
That day she wore it for me and i wore it for her.
Alamak!
So the romantic.
Shit ar!
Whatever!
Haha.
Anyway to Shima.
Thanks baby for the ring.
I'll wear it as long as we're in contact.
Love you lolx.
Hehe.
You're mine as i am yours.
After finishing shopping there.
And having our lunch together.
I sent her home and rested there for awhile before i went home.
Then at night when to drink with my members.
Till the wee hours of the morning.
Talking,smoking and drinking.
Shima was there too.
She was not that happy with me drinking.
But it's my life.
So she can't do anything.
The only thing she can do is to stop me from getting too drunk.
Went home with her at around four plus taking taxi.
Slept at Shima home.
Then the next day when to take my Maths exam paper at twelve.
Tired.
Sure do.
Haha.

Yesterday when to play pool with my god-sis,Shahidah.
If not my bro came along.
But he had to clean up his IT room.
He with his excuses.
Haha.
So he can't go.
Too bad.
Haha.
We had a fun time playing pool at PoolFactor.
Well.
She won over me.
By one game.
That is i let her have her "Trial And Error" lor.
Haha.
That shorty gurl.
Haha.
Promise her next Saturday will go play pool again to celebrate her birthday.
That time my god-bro,Muhd,will be there.
Yipee!
After that when to work.
New kid just when in as a waiter.
Jessie the name.
Such a sweet girl she is.
Too bad she can't stand long as she had low blood.
Easily get headache.
Haiz.
Pity her.
Work was tired after four days of off.
My legs were wobbling man.
But i push myself to the max.
After work went to drink with my friend.
Stress.
Wanna know why.
My ex,Yana,message me.
She ask did i drink.
I reply ya lor.
Surely she find out from my friendster testi.
Which Izam sent me.
Thanks alot Izam
Hahakx.
She asked me to stopped doing this stupid thing.
But i told her.
Who are you to me to ask me to stop drinking.
You are just a friend.
You have Din already
Go and care for your Din lar.
Why wanna care for the people you lie and hurt so badly.
Bitch!!!
Haha.
She said as long as i don't stop drinking then regard us as never met before in the whole life.
I said i'm fine with it if you wanted to be like that.
I don't give a damn fucking for girls anymore.
Can't let them step on my head.
Give them face.
And they'll toyed with you.
Heed my advice guys out there.
Hehe.
After that never message her anymore.
That's good.
More space for her to be romantically with her Din which she left me to patch-up with that pig.
Haha.
Fat pig small dick!!!
Haha.
So that's for now.
Update later days.
Chao my peeps!

In English For Everyone

2005-04-07T11:58:00.000-07:00

First off all.
I wanna shout.
I HATE POLY LIFE!
Hate everything about poly.
Haiz.
Anyway.
I'm writing in english for those who had complain that i write in english.
Especially to Clive and Michelle.
This is dedicated to you two hooligans.
Haha.
Keep pestering people to write in english.

Well.
For starters.
Two of my exam had finished.
Maths and Data Comm.
Comment about this two module.
Hmm.
Nope.
Haha.
Can't say much lor.
Just wait for the result to come out.
Then what is written is the answer.
First worry.
Maths.
If flunk this one.
Sure kick out.
Haiz.
I plan to sign-on NS if i can't do well for Maths.
What else can i do right.
Even my parents have already give the green light.
They say.
If can pass Maths.
Good.
If can't then go NS lor.
Then that's where i'm going if i'm being kick-out of this pathetic school.
Just that poly is not the place for me.
But my parents really want me to go poly rather than ITE.
Atleast i had feel the life in poly for this one year.
Memories.
Memories of shit!
That is.
Hehe.
I still remember what the Tay said to me.
It was during the day for the Maths paper.
Before the paper she came to me.
Ask if i can do it or not.
I say if can pass then can lah.
If can't then i'm going NS.
Even my parents agree with me.
Tay said as long as i get around 40 plus she'll help me push the marks up to pass me.
Hehe.
That's great.
Hope she mark close one eye lor.
After the paper.
Which i finish earlier than Michelle,Faredz and Xiang.
Tay is the first soul to rush to me to collect my paper.
She said to me.
"I wanna see you for next semester.Don't go NS."
Waliao.
So hard to go NS with people holding me back.
Even Michelle said in her blog that she want to see me for next semester.
Aiyah.
That auntie har.
Troublesome.
Hehe.
Well.
Conclusion is.
What the result hold will be my fate.
If it states that i fail then next stop.
NS.
Haha.
-End of English Edition-

Sekarang Melayunya pulak.
Aku lebih senang type Melayu ar.
Orang Melayu.
Mestilah type Melayu.
Hehe.
Semalam lepas exam Data Comm.
Aku pergi jumpa Shima dengan member-member jammin aku.
Kitaorang duduk dekat kedai kopi.
Sambil borak-borak sambil isap rokok.
Kita catch-up on old times.
Dah lama jugak aku tak jumpa dorang.
Hampir sebulan.
Tuesday aku tidur rumah Shima.
Tak ada mood nak balik lepas Maths paper aku.
Muka aku muram je.
Kepala otak asyik fikirkan kalau aku boleh pass ke tak paper aku tu.
Haiz.
Shima cheer aku bila aku sampai rumah dia.
Tuesday tu lain sikit.
Selalunya aku yang sakat dia.
Hari tu dia pulak yang sakat aku.
Tak abeh-abeh.
Tapi aku tersenyum jugak dengan lawak dia.
Hehe.
Thanks baby.
Lain kali aku nya turn pulak sakat dia.
Haha.
hmm.
Tak banyak yang terjadi sejak berapa hari yang lepas ni.
Yang lain aku simpan pada diri aku sendiri.
Haha.

Kesedihan Hidup Ku

2005-04-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

Bilakah bermula
Bila pula akan berakhir
Ku melayari mimpi sedih
Tanpa kasih mu di sisi

Keringlah sudah air mata
Rasa tiada lagi tangis
Mengiringi cabaran
Kemarau hidup yang panjang

Badai ranjau duri
Ku tempuh dan ku harungi
Walau gelora di persisiran
Berkecai istana mimpi

Akan ku teruskan jua
Perjalanan ku yang sepi
Demi sejarah cinta kita
Kekasih yang terpatri

Tak berdaya ku menolak
Suratan yang mendatang
Apabila diri sendiri
Terumbang dalam derita

Hanya Tuhan bisa
Menunjukkan jalan
Bisa beri ku kekuatan merubah
Kekalutan warna
Pada sutera putih ku
Yang sememangnya dulu
Berwarna suci

Berapa lama lagi
Harus ku bersabar
Melayari angan angan ku
Mengecap kebahagian

Yang tak pernah ku rasakan
Seribu malam yang lalu
Walaupun sedetik saat
Di dada waktu yang gugur
Namun terpaksa
Aku teruskan
Perjalanan ku

Endless Sacrifice

2005-04-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

Cold
Lying in my bed
Staring into darkness

Lost
I hear footsteps overhead
And my thoughts return
Again

Like a child who's run away
And won't be coming back
Time keeps passing by
As night turns into day

I'm so far away
And so alone
I need to see your face
To keep me sane
To make me whole

Try to stay alive
Until i hear your voice
I'm gonna lose my mind
Someone tell me why
I chose this life
This superficial lie
Constant compromise
Endless sacrifice

Pain
It saddens me to know
The helplessness you feel
Your light
Shines
on my soul
While a thousand candles
Burn

Outside this barren room
The rain is pouring down
The emptiness inside
Is growing deeper still

You're so far away
And so alone
You long for love's embrace
To keep you sane
To keep you whole

Moments wasted
Isolated
Time escaping
Endless sacrifice

Over the distance
We try to make sense
Of surviving together
While living apart

Striving for balance
We rise to the challenge
Of staying connected
Inspite of circumstances

All you've forsaken
And all that you've done
So that i could live out
This undying dream

Won't be forgotten
Or taken for granted
I'll always remember
Your endless sacrifice

Macam Biasa Jugak

2005-04-01T12:17:00.000-08:00

Hari ini April.
To all.
A very.
Happy April Fools Day.

Baru je abeh kelas.
Hari ini nye kelas sekejap seh.
Mana tak.
Tiga orang je yang datang.
So lecturer pun mendak dengan kita.
Yang lain semua perangai.
Tak datang.
Haha.
Biasa kelas aku jugak.
Tapi memang ar.
Aku cakap terus terang eh sekarang.
Aku benci kelas aku.
Budak-budaknya semua perangai.
Kebanyakan perangai macam budak-budak.
Malas siak aku layan budak gitu.
Korang dah poly buatlah macam budak poly.
Nak perangai macam gitu pergilah ITE.
Budak ITE pun tak macam korang.
Atleast dorang matang dari korang.
Ada pulak satu ni.
Betulnya getting on my nerve tau.
Sarcastic tak punyalah batas.
Kaypoh pulak tu.
Satu hari ini jugak aku bukak langkah dengan dia tau.
Aku tak takut ar dengan badan dia yang macam babi haram.
Aku dekat sec sch je dah gaduh dengan berapa banyak budak.
Memang aku ni panas baran orangnya.
Tapi kesabaran manusia ada batas.
Aku tak kesah dalam poly ke sec sch ke ataupun tempat kerja.
Kalau budak nak main taik aku berani main taik balik.
Tengok jela nanti.
Nanti aku dah "hang" dia,aku bilang korang k.
Hehe.
Aku fikir-fikir lepas semester ni dah abeh aku nak tukar course ar.
Biarlah kena restart Year One pun aku dah tak kesah.
Aku memang tak suka ar dengan polytechnic.
Aku benci.
Benci!
Inipun bukannya aku nak sangat pergi polytechnic pada mulanya.
Mak bapak aku yang nak sangat aku pergi polytechnic.
Dorang cakap dah bagus dapat 21 points nak pergi ITE.
So what!
21 points bukannya bagus.
Bukannya boleh sustain dekat poly.
Sekarang dorang kena terimalah padahnya sebab nak sangat aku pergi poly.
Semalam warning letter datang.
Mak bapak aku bukak.
Balik je dari minum terus dorang tanya aku tak pergi kelas ehk.
Aku peng cerita ar yang aku selalu masuk kelas lambat jadi lecturer mark as absent.
Lecturer pun sial jugak.
Dah bagus aku nak datang kelas dorang.
Kalau tak dorang pun tak ada budak nak ajar.
Pulak tu datang lambat sikit je terus mark aku absent.
Rebek sikit dahi dorang baru tahu.
Hehe.
Aku menyesal ar concentrate sangat dekat aku nya 'O' level.
Should have done worse.
Baru mak bapak aku tak boleh nak kecoh pasal suruh pergi polytechnic.
Regret.

Ni budak cheeseburger betulnya nak cari pasal siol.
Eh cheeseburger,aku tak gentar ar dengan kau.
Kalau nak jumpa depan-depan kita settle ar.
Tak payah nak kecut-kecut sembunyi belakang comp ar.
Pe kau tak ada buah pe nak berdepan.
Aku tak buat salah.
Buat apa aku nak takut.
Memang dulu bila aku matair dengan Hidayah aku tak layan Azmi sangat.
Aku tak layan banyak budak pun dulu bila sec sch.
Aku mengaku aku tak layan Azmi.
Tapi aku tak pernah bastard dia untuk Hidayah.
Bukannya dia ada hati dekat Hidayah.
Dia benci Hidayah lagi ada ar.
Bastard-bastard kawan aku tak main ar.
Tak layan tu adalah.
Azmi pun tak kuasa dengan tu semua.
Apa nak kecoh-kecoh pasal ni semua.
Benda kecik cheeseburger nak besar-besarkan macam budak kecik.
Eh kau dah umur berapa nak ungkit-ungkit kisah lama.
Kita pandang depan.
Bukan belakang.
Zaman bermaju.
Bukan bermundur ar sial!
Kan aku maki.
Aku memang pantang orang tuduh aku sebarangan.
Naik bengang aku di buatnya.
Nak settle dengan tangan aku tak gentar ar.
Fight one to one ar.
Aku bagi kau rasa penumbuk Nabi aku.
Aku malas ar nak layan budak-budak taik macam kau.
Pergi main dengan anak patung suar!

Semalam lepas kerja aku lepak dengan bro aku.
Dekat kedai kopi.
Dia ajak turun sebab dah lama aku tak turun jamming.
Macam mana nak turun.
Busy dengan exam yang mendatang.
Anyway.
Semalam bro aku bukak botol.
Korang tahu apa tu kan.
Takyahlah aku nak elaborate kan.
Hehe.
Minum sampai muka aku merah siol.
Dah lama jugak aku tak sentuh tu semua.
Nasib baik aku tak naik mabuk.
Kalau mabuk macam nak naik bus balik.
Betul tak.
Hehe.
Ni pun bro aku suruh aku turun jamming sebab dorang perlukan lirik jiwang.
Dah lama dorang tak main jiwang jadi naik mendak jugak ar.
Hehe.
Aku busy dengan sekolah ar.
tengoklah macam mana nanti.
Kalau aku free aku turun jamming aytez bro.

Abeh semalam malam.
Bila aku nak masuk tidur je.
Terperanjat dapat message dari number mana je.
Dia tanya aku siapa tu.
Aku jawaplah Jufri ni siapa.
Dia tanya yang tinggal Jurong kan.
Terperanjat babi aku.
Macam mana dia tahu aku tinggal Jurong.
Aku ada stalker nampaknya.
Hehe.
Mampus ar!
Minah mana pun aku malas nak layan.
Perempuan sekarang ni semua sundal dok.
Lebih sundal dari prostitute dekat luar sana.

Dua hari yang lepas aku jumpa Shima.
Masa aku amek gaji aku tu.
Entah eh.
Dua hari.
Atau satu hari yang lepas.
Aku tak ingat sangat.
Hehe
Macam biasa dia.
Sihat walafiat.
Dia cakap asal aku tak contact dia.
Aku busy dengan sekolah lah.
Tak faham-faham ke makcik.
Hehe.
Kita duduk berbual tentang masa yang kita tak jumpa.
Aku tanya jugak kalau-kalau Shima dah ada di hati.
Dia cakap hanya aku je di hati dia.
Tiada yang lain di hati dia.
Awww.
So sweet.
Pi lah mampus!
Hehe.
Abeh dia tanya aku kalau aku dah ada girl.
Aku takkan ada girl.
Not now.
Not ever.
Suka dia bila dengar tu.
Yelah.
Ada chance dia nak serang aku.
Hehe.
Minah minah.
Missing her.
Hmm...

Diri Ku

2005-03-31T12:08:00.000-08:00

Diri ku
Hidup bagaikan kelam
Menyelubungi malam
Sunyi yang menjadi
Teman

Sambil ku lihat di cermin
Wajah yang terpapang
Ialah wajah kesedihan
Kelukaan
Jenguk ku pada tangan
Hanya melihat darah
Bertitisan
Tak terhenti
Walaupun kepedihan

Hidup ku
Aku mengaku
Tiada seperti dulu
Tiada ceria dan ligat
Tak tersenyum selalu bibir ku
Rasa bagaikan ingin pergi
Pergi meninggalkan
Dunia ini

Bukan salah ku
Inginkan kebahagiaan
Malah hanya ingin yang berkekalan
Itu saja yang ku inginkan
Dalam denyutan nadi ini
Sedihnya hanya nista yang ku
Perolehi

Hari demi hari
Ku bagaikan
Menghitung waktu
Waktu Yang Maha Kuasa
Mengambil nyawa
Jauh dari nafas jasad ku
Badi terasa
Pedih terseksa

Ya Allah
Ku berdoa
Setiap malam yang mendatang
Sambil hitam menutupi hari
Ambillah nafas ku
Lontarkanlah ke neraka jahanam
Diri ku berdosa pada mu
Aku mengaku
Hanya seorang musafir
Menumpang di dunia ini

Maafkanlah wahai teman ku
Jikalau ku pergi tanpa pesanan
Meninggal secara senyap
Senyap tanpa angin lalu
Menghembusi kesayupan
Dingin malam

Hanya ku berdoa
Agar teman ku semua
Berbahagia disamping
Orang yang di kasihi
Bertuah mereka
Dari diri ku ini.

Sik!

2005-03-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

Well.
What did you know.
I'm sick.
Kena demam pulak.
Problem ar.
Minggu akan datang dah exam.
Abeh sekarang aku sakit.
Problem siak.
Selalunya sakit aku tak ada mood nak belajar.
Mana tak.
Otak tak boleh ingat apa yang belajar.
Pulak tu aku belum start belajar Maths lagi seh.
Maths paper yang pertama aku ada next week.

Minggu ni pun aku dah dua hari tak pergi kelas.
Abeh tak ada apa-apa yang nak buat dekat kelas.
Digital Circuit dah abeh pun project.
Dah tunjuk lecturer pun macam mana circuitnya.
Abeh tadi Data Comm lecture confirm tak buat apa-apa.
Jadi tak payahlah susah-susahkan diri dengan kelas.
Sekarang ni yang penting ialah exam aku yang lain minggu dah mula.

Hari ini gaji aku masuk.
Yeah!!!
Gaji pertama aku untuk kerja dekat Restaurant tu.
Restaurant apa tak bolehlah kecoh dekat sini.
Private.
So nanti pukul tiga aku keluar sekejap pergi POSB bank amek gajinya.
Dan aku tak boleh lupa bagi mak bapak aku sikit duit.
Lagipun dorang yang beri aku makan sejak kecil lagi.
Sampai badan naik besar macam gini.
Hehe.
Susah senang yang dulu dorang yang tetap dekat situ untuk aku.
Ada ar peristiwa yang berlaku bila aku Sec 5.
Berberapa hari sebelum 'O' level aku.
Peristiwa itu lah yang menyayat hati aku.
Ia membuka mata aku bahawa walaupun mak bapak aku sibuk macam mana pun dorang tetap tujuk kasih sayang dorang dekat anak-anak.
Awww.......
So the touching.
Pi lah!
Meluat aku.
Hehe.

Aku sedang tunggu je sampai masanya aku dapat beli cd Dinodi.
Suka nah aku dengan lagu Cinta Tragika.
Ada makna yang tersendiri pada aku.
Menyentuh hati.
Kalau dengar bila baring-baring mesti boleh terkenang balik kenangan yang akhirnya luka untuk aku.
Haiz.
Apa nak dikatakan.
Dah takdir hidup aku.

Oh yah.
Korang dengar tak semalam ada kesan gegaran dekat Punggol dengan East Coast sana.
Para-para pakar cakap yang ia adalah kesan sampingan gempa bumi di Sumatra.
Rabak!
If Singapura kena gempa bumi mautlah gitu.
Mana tak.
Singapura kechik setitik je.
Bila-bila boleh collapse.
Hehe.

Aku dah lama jugak tak jumpa Shima.
Contact pun tak.
Agaknya dia sibuk dengan benda dia.
Aku pun sibuk dengan sekolah aku dengan exam yang mendatang.
Ataupun dia sekarang tengah seronok dengan lelaki baru.
Mana tahu Shima dah ada guy ke.
Walau apa pun.
Aku doakan dia bahagia dengan guy dia.
Itu pun kalau betul-betul dalam senyap dia stead ker.
Ialah biasanya kalau dah stead,dorang nak berkepit je dengan matair dorang.
So aku pun tak contact.
Aku tak kisah pun.
Dia bahagia suar.

Lagipun aku memang dah tahu perempuan sekarang mana nak tunggu lama untuk seseorang.
Dorang nampak je lelaki yang hensem terus mulalah dorangnya mengatal.
Biarlah dorang nak mengatal macam mana pun.
Perempuan ni semua mana faham erti cinta.
Betul tak.

Ok.
Aku mengaku.
Kadang-kadang aku nampak couple-couple aku jealous jugak ar.
Dorang berbual.
Usik sini.
Usik sana.
So loving.
Ingin aku ada matair yang setia.
Tapi aku kena ingat yang perempuan sekarang.
Di abad ini hanya mahu mainkan perasaan lelaki.
Yang tak mahu mainkan perasaan lelaki ada.
Tapi dorang suka nah tetap nak bergantung pada lelaki yang suka nah mempermainkan hati dorang.
Aku tak faham tau.
Pergilah cari yang akan setia pada korang perempuan.
Asal buta nah masih nak berkepit dengan lelaki yang tinggalkan korang.
Apa.
Korang dah kena ludah nak jilat balik lah ehk.
Haiz.
Tak faham aku dengan ragam dunia ini.
Tapi mujurlah aku tak ada matair.
Tak aku dipermainkan perasaan ini.

Tengok Wayang!

2005-03-28T14:23:00.000-08:00

Dah lama jugak aku tak letak entry.
Tak salah aku dah agak-agak empat hari tak sentuh blog.
Sibuk dengan kerja.
Kena kerja empat hari straight siol!
Maut siol gitu!
Kaki boleh patah tau!
Hehe.
Anyway,Thursday yang lalu aku pergi tengok wayang.
Dengan Shima.
Biasa jugak.
Hehe.
Kita pergi yang dekat Marina Square.
Tengok kita nya favourite artist.
Nak tahu siapa.
Spongebob Squarepants ar.
Siapa lagi.
Dia lah yang paling kelakar di Bikini Bottom.
Hehe.
Aku dengan Shima tak abeh-abeh terkekek-kekek tengokkan lawak Spongebob.
Hehe.
Betulnya khusyuk aku bila tengok wayang tu.
Sambil tengok sambil kunyah popcorn dengan coke.
Bestkan sambil syok tengok wayang sambil mengunyah.
Hehe.
Sambillah aku suapkan Shima.
Nak manja jugak makcik tu.
Manja konon.
Pi lah!
Tak main manja-manja ni semua.
Dah tua bangker tu buatlah hal dah tua.
Hehe.
Lepas je wayang tu dah abeh.
Agak-agak pukul tujuh lebih.
Nak dekat pukul lapan ar gitu.
Kita masih taknak balik dulu.
Ialah.
Malam masih muda.
Hehe.
Jadi kita jalanlah ke Esplanade Library sana.
Terus naik escalator pergi rooftop.
Relek dekat situ.
Sambil tengok permandangan yang sungguh menakjubkan.
Terang-berderang seh Esplanade.
Dengan lampu-lampu menyulur terang.
Shima pun buat keputusan nak amek gambar pakai hp Nokia 3200 dia.
Tapi gambarnya ada blur sikit.
Sayang.
Kalau tak dah boleh letak dekat sini.
Haiz.
Too bad,guyz.
Lepas kita berbual dekat rooftop Esplanade Library.
Dengan angin berdayu-dayu sejuk.
Aku memeluk Shima sebab dia sejuk sikit.
Kita teruslah balik.
Naik MRT turun Yishun hantar dia sampai depan rumah.
By that time,parents dia dah balik.
Jadi Shima kenalkan lah aku dekat parents dia.
Masuk berbual sekejap dengan mak bapa Shima.
Dapat tahu.
Shima dari kita kali pertama jumpa dia dah pun ceritakan tentang aku dekat parents dia.
Kepala butang betul makcik tu tau.
Tak bilang orang siang-siang.
Hehe.
Tapi parents dia orite jugak.
Open and understanding.
Boleh get-along.
Bapak Shima pun isap rokok.
Jadi sebab Shima dah bilang dorang yang aku isap rokok.
Aku isap je depan dorang sambil berbual.
Hehe.
Dorang kalau tak suka aku isap rokok dorang boleh blah!
Aku tak kuasa.
Mak bapa aku pun dah dapat tahu yang aku isap.
Masa tu aku isap dekat busstop luar poly bapak aku nampak.
Tapi dia tak serang aku masa tu jugak sebab banyak orang.
Malulah gitu.
Blah lah!
Hehe.
Jadi dahlah aku dapat "green light".
Hehe.
Tapi tetap tak boleh isap dekat dalam rumah sebab adik-beradik aku ada.
Tak baik kan.
Aku taknak dorang ikut macam aku.
Dah mula tak boleh berhenti.
Jadi Thursday yang lalu aku luangkan hampir satu hari dengan Shima.

Friday aku pergi sembahyang Jumaat dekat masjid Assyakirin dengan bro aku,Muhammad.
If korang pergi blog dia mesti dia ada kecohkan yang kita pergi sembahyang.
Ingat lagi tak bro.
Dekat belakang pagar masjid ada "matrip" ni jual cd haram.
Aku ingatkan cd lucah ke apa.
Cd lucah boleh kita pergi report dekat "berok".
Hehe.
Aleh-aleh cd lain lak.
Entahlah cd apa pun aku tak tahu.
Like i care!
Hehe.
Whatever!

Haiz!
Kerja lagi hari ini.
Mendak ar.
Penat seh!
Kaki sampai naik longgar tau.
Haha!
Oh yah.
Ada satu pengumuman.
Kalau korang nak tengok gambar Shima.
Pergi Friendster dan cari email address aku.
aljufri_arjuna@yahoo.com.sg.
Tengok "View Photos".
And there she is.
Hehe.
NOTICE:Gambar itu akan di tunjukkan untuk sementara saja.
Akan di tukar tak lama lagi.
Jadi tengok sekarang.
Kalau tak korang yang menyesal.
Asyik tanya-tanya aku je asal tak letak gambar Shima kan.
So i'm putting it for a short while.
Ini pun Shima tak tahu yang aku letak tau.
Jadi tak boleh lama.
Nanti dia dapat tahu aku ada Friendster.
Dia check.
Maut aku kena pelangkung atas bawah kalau dia dapat tahu.
Ok.
Chao my peeps!

An Evening With Shima

2005-03-23T16:33:00.000-08:00

Semalam macam biasa aku singgah dekat rumah Shima terletak dekat Yishun.
Dekat jugak dengan MRT Yishun jadi taklah payah untuk aku.
Kurang-kurang lima belas minit dah boleh sampai.
Senangkan.
Hehe.
Semalam aku dengan Shima tengok dvd cerita "A Cinderella Story".
Cerita gerek.
Telakar pun ada.
Conclusion aku bagi lima star.(*****)
So the romantic ceritanya.
Lagi-lagi Shima dalam pelukan aku sambil kita tengok sambil kunyah keropok.
Lagi-lagi semua lampu tutup.
Jadi macam lah dalam wayang.
Takyah nak membazir duit pergi wayang nak tengok-tengok.
Inipun Shima nak ajak esok kita pergi tengok wayang cerita "Spongebob Squarepants"
My favourite!!!
Hehe.
Jadi aku akan menantikan esok yang akan tiba.

Sekarang ni aku pun dekat rumah Shima.
Tak buat apa-apa.
Dia boring jadi aku temanlah.
Nanti pukul lima dah kena pergi kerja.

Argh!
Handphone aku kena hantar repair.
Shit!
Big shit!
Asal kena rosak.
Itulah handphone satu-satunya yang aku gemari.
Sekarang kenalah aku pinjam handphone Shima.
Samsung.
Tak sedap sangat nak pakai.
Mana tak.
Selalunya aku pakai Nokia.
Dah naik sedap pulak tangan ni pegang.
Hehe.
Tapi tak apalah.
Untuk sementara saja.
Lepas tu boleh aku dapat balik handphone aku.
Handphone kesayangan aku.
Tadi Data Communication lecture ada mini test tau.
Aku fikir aku fail ar.
Hanya dua soalan je aku tahu nak buat.
Yang lain tiga garuk kepala lah aku.
Hehe.

Rumah Shima

2005-03-21T20:25:00.000-08:00

Harlow!
Dekat rumah Shima sekarang.
Tengah pakai comp dia ni.
Pentium 4 seh.
Canggih!
Hehe.
Aku nak amek rehat sekejap dari revision.
Setengah jalan revising aku nya Digital Circuit.
Shima sekarang tengah dalam bilik dia.
Dia tanya jugak kalau aku nak karang lagi puisi.
Aku bilanglah makcik tu yang exam aku dah around the corner ni.
Tak ada masa nak karang.
Aku suruh jugak Shima yang karang puisi kalau dia nak.
Dia kan dah semakin pandai mengarang.
Hehe.

Oh yah!
Shima terima kasih untuk spaghetti bolognese yang Shima masak yer.
Sedap!
Mana entah dia belajar masak tu.
Hehe.
Macam aku kesah.
Aku isi perut je.
Hehe.
Nanti aku sambung balik belajar.
Rehatkan mata kan.
Shima pun tak kesah kalau aku nak bergantung dekat comp dia berapa lama pun boleh.
Hehe.
Penat ada jugak.
Tapi apa nak buat.
Terpaksa kena tahan lah ehk.

Esok je dah kena tunjukkan aku nye Digital Circuit lecturer project yang dia suruh buat.
Tapi segalanya dekat kawan kumpulan aku jadi aku relek one corner dan tengok macam mana esoknya la ehk.
Aku nya Computer Hardware dapat 82 seh untuk project yang kitaorang buat.
Alhamdulliah........
Syukur aku pada Tuhan.

Jadi sebelum pukul 9.30pm aku dah kena keluar rumah Shima ni.
Parents dia nak balik.
Ok la.
Aku nak pergi isap rokok sekejap.
Nanti aku letak lagi entry bila aku free k......

Change Of Meeting Day

2005-03-21T11:46:00.000-08:00

Pertama sekali.
Pada Shima.
P.S:Baby,deary sorry eh Saturday tak dapat keluar.Sebab deary kerja.Atleast deary dapat change it to Sunday.Deary tetap tepati janji jumpa baby walaupun hari nya tukar.
Hehe.

Saturday aku terpaksa kerja last minute.
Boss tiba-tiba message aku cakap yang dorang tak cukup waiter.
Tapi Saturday tu aku seharusnya jumpa Shima agak-agak pukul enam petang.
Aku dah janji dengan dia nak pergi West Coast beach.
Tapi pasal kerja nya pasal aku terpaksa tukar hari dengan Shima.
Kesian dia.
Merajuk jugak makcik tu.
Tapi nasib baik dia faham keadaan aku.
Saturday tak dapat jumpa jadi aku tukar hari jumpa dengan Shima.
Janji tetap janji.
Kalau dah buat janji.
Haruslah ditepati.
Betul tak.
Mungkin di dunia ni tak banyak orang yang patuh pada janji.
Tapi aku akan tetap dan selalu menunaikan janji yang dah dikatakan.
Janji nak jumpa si makcik tu.
Janji akan dilaksanakan walaupun hari lain.
So kita jumpa semalam.
Sama waktu.
Enam petang.
Tempat sama.
West Coast beach.
Fun jugak dekat sana.
Nampak banyak seh couple ber "romantic" dekat sana.
Menyampah aku!
Hehe.
Aku dengan Shima taklah seteruk dorang.
Kita hanya duduk berbual amek pix dengan digital camera Shima.
Macam biasa jugak.
Hehe.
Tapi kali ni lain sikit.
Aku ada mischief up my sleeve.
Hehe.
Ada aku lempar Shima dalam laut.
Haha.
Aku usik si kenet tu.
Terus aku angkat dia.
Dia merayu-rayu nak dilepaskan.
Tapi aku terus lontar dia dalam laut.
Toing!
Haha.
Kesiankan dia.
Aku nak pergi tarik dia.
Tapi si gengdeng tu tarik aku pulak masuk dalam laut.
Sama-sama lah masuk.
Hehe.
Nakal jugak si Shima tu.
Ala Juf.
Siapa yang ajar.
Kau jugak.
Hehe.
Basah kuyup kita.
Nakal eh aku.
Lepas dah kering sikit baju baru kita pergi makan malam.
Dekat kedai kopi jugak.
Hehe.
Dekat sana bagus.
Sebab kenapa tau.
Sana boleh isap rokok sambil borak-borak.
Tapi sayangnya,nanti October kedai kopi dah tak boleh isap rokok.
Dorang nak ban it.
Bodoh betul goverment ni.
Haha!

Aku tertanya-tanya jugak siapa seh "cheeseburger" ni.
Cakap kenal aku tapi aku tak kenal dia tau.
Gedegak mana pulak ni.
Agaknya ex aku,Rabiah.
Tapi mana tahu kan.
Anyway,kalau dia ungkal jugak tak nak bilang then boleh kirim salam suar!
Aku malas nak layan orang yang aku tak kenal ni semua.
Yang aku tahu,aku bagi blog aku dekat orang yang aku kenal.
Lantak dia lah.
Kalau dia nak main taik dengan aku,aku main taik dengan dia balik.
Hehe.

Argh!
Exam coming!
Maut!
Maut!
Macam mana seh.
Stress siol!
Awal April je dah paper aku.
Aku tak tahu kalau aku boleh pass ke tak.
Hanya terus revise and revise la aku ni.
Pass atau fail,biar Tuhan yang tentukan.

Nanti aku lepak dekat rumah Shima belajar.
Dari terus duduk kira lalat,lebih baik aku revise.
Betul tak.
Hehe.

Well.
Hari ini aku pakai baju yang Shima belikan.
Baju dari Giordano polo tee colour orange.
Macam biasa.
Aku terkilan nak terima dia belanjakan aku.
Tapi........
Dia sungguh-sungguh nak belikan.
Jadi.
Aku terima dengan hati yang terbuka.
Thanks Baby.........

Sandiwara Mu

2005-03-18T21:27:00.000-08:00

Bila debunga cinta
Gugur layu terkulai
Sepi menyelubungi
Hati ku yang kini melara
Pudar bersama masa
Cinta semusim kita
Yang tak bisa
Bertaut kembali

Telah aku menduga
Tiada indah mewangi
Hanya bersanding dikau
Berpura cinta dan berbudi
Bukan membalas cinta
Yang lahir dari hati
Mu yang suci
Cinta yang abadi

Tak ku menduga mengapa
Bisa terjadi sebegini
Ku fikir selama-lamanya
Ini cinta kita hati ke hati
Dimana janji mu kata mu
Akulah milik mu abadi
Tak mingkin ini hanyalah
Semata-mata sandiwara

Jika itu kehendak mu
Mungkin nanti
Satu waktu
Kau akan kesal
Hingga ke akhir hayat mu.

Terpaksa Belajar.

2005-03-18T19:36:00.000-08:00

Friday.
Hari yang membosankan.
Setiap hari dalam seminggu ialah boring.
Tak ada yang seronok.
Hidup memBOSANkan seh!
Haiz.
Tadi aku pergi sembahyang Jumaat dekat masjid Darussalam.
Sepatutnya jumpa Firdaus,kawan sec sch aku.
Tapi aku lambat sampai.
Seharusnya jumpa dekat masjid tingkat dua.
Aku sampai je,semua orang berpusu-pusu keluar dari masjid.
Dah abes la tu.
Aiyoh!
Tu lah Juf.
Lambat lagi.
Aku pun terus amek air sembahyang.
Pergi sembahyang Zuhur sudah.
Terserempak pulak aku dengan Azmi,kawan sec sch aku.
Azmi dengan Firdaus sama poly tapi lain course.
Aku terperanjat jugak.
Muka Azmi semakin teruk seh.
Jerawat dia semakin banyak seh.
Bukan tu je.
Semakin teruk pun ada.
Anyway,aku terus selesaikan sembahyang aku.
Sebab Firdaus dekat luar masjid.
Tunggu aku lah tu.
Lepas je sembahyang Zuhur dengan sembahyang Sunat,aku pergi jumpa bro aku.
Teman dia amek handphone yang hantar pergi repair.
Dia baru je message aku cakap yang dorang tak repair betul-betul.
Samdul nye repair shop.
Nanti kang aku letak bom baru tahu.
Hehe.
Jadi dia pergi balik kedai itu besok nak suruh dorang repair semula.
Dia ajak aku jugak suruh pergi tapi aku ada kelas besok.
Lagipun aku perlu jumpa lecturer tanya solan tentang Digital Circuit.
Aku bukan nah faham tentang module ni sangat.
Aku takut jugak kalau aku fail module ni.
Module yang aku risaukan ialah Digital Circuit dengan Data Commuinication.
Payah nak faham dua-dua topic ni.
Haiz.
Abeh tadi sambil aku tunggu bro aku.
Macam biasa dia datang lambat jugak.
Aku terserempak ex aku,Rabiah.
Dari jauh dia senyum dekat aku.
Aku takkan nak tunjuk muka masam kan.
Sombong pulak gitu.
Hehe.
Aku pun senyum balik lah.
Dari jauh dia boleh kenal ehk.
Kencang mata dia.
Macam mata Superman.
Hehe.
Dia masuk dalam Popular.
Agaknya nak beli sesuatu kot.
Lepas berapa minit,dia pun keluar teguh aku.
Dia tanya tunggu siapa.
Aku jawaplah tunggu bro aku.
Dia pun nak pergi jumpa kawan dia.
Aku teguh dia pulak,"Handphone baru?!"
Yelah,dulu dia nak sangat handphone K700i.
Pulak tu aku tengok,handphone nya baru.
Bershining-shining pulak.
Hehe.
"Matair belikan ker?!"
Aku cakap gitu dia terus menjeling aku.
Nanti kang bola mata tergolek baru tau.
Hehe.
Lepas tu je dia terus jalan.
Bye bye!
Hehe.
Aku dah tak message dia sangat.
Yela.
Orang sibuk dengan sekolah,jamming,karang puisi lagi.
Jadi tak sempat nak message-message.
Inipun ex aku yang sebelum Rabiah message aku.
Yana namanya.
Tanya aku tengah buat apa.
Dia pun aku tak reply.
Orang sibuk belajar.

Oh yah!
Cakap pasal belajar.
Aku sekarang tengah belajar ni.
Digital Circuit.
Aku kena faham semua function Gates-Gates macam AND dan NOR Gates.
Nasib baik bukan kena faham Bill Gates.
Hehe.
Nama nak dekat samalah.
Hehe.
Aku kena catch up untuk Digital Circuit dan Data Communication.
Lagi dua minggu seh aku nya Final Semester Exam.
If fail ni,maut kena repeat.
Tu tak sangat.
Aku kena betul-betul tumpu pada aku nya Engineering Maths.
Aku tahu lah aku bukan bagus sangat dalam Maths.
Maths bila Secondary je aku tergapai-gapai.
Apa pulak Maths Engineering.
Boleh gugur ranbut aku di buatnya.
Hehe.
Sebab Maths aku dah pun repeat.
Jadi kalau aku fail kali ini,aku kena kick-out dari poly seh!
Problem-problem.
Kalau kena kick-out dari poly,kalau nak pergi ITE kenalah aku tunggu satu tahun untuk register.
Satu tahun seh!
Lama tu.
Bukan sekejap.
Sebab registration ITE dah pun tutup hari ini.
18/3.
Aku ada jalan lain.
If aku kena kick-out,aku sign-on NS suar.
Masuk Army.
Dalam hidup,kita kenalah fikirkan apa nak buat dengan hidup ini.
Hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu masa depan kita macam mana.
Allah Yang Maha Kuasa.
Penentu segala-galanya.
"Always make a second option in life if anything goes wrong."
Jadi taklah kita tergopoh-gapah kalau sesuatu terjadi dalam hidup.
Betul tak!
Korang sokong kan apa yang aku cakap.
Hehe.
"Some time life is not like what we wanted."
Walaupun diri ini inginkan hubungan yang kekal,namun dicemari dikotori dinodai oleh orang lain.
Jadi kita terpaksalah terima takdirnya.
Sampailah hidup di cabut Allah.
Baru kita tak payah nak fikir-fikir lagi.
Hanya hukuman kubur je yang akan kita lihat.
Sebab pasal peristiwa dulu lah aku taknak bercinta lagi.
Aku taknak pisang berbelah dua.
Bukan sekali.
Bukan dua kali.
Tapi tiga kali aku dah di lukakan oleh cinta.
Itu pasal aku taknak matair dengan Shima.
Aku taknak lepas kita matair,dia hancurkan hati aku dengan meninggalkan aku bila aku memerlukan kasih sayang dan belaian dia.
Biar kita macam gini untuk lima sepuluh tahun baru kita fikir pasal nak matair ke tak.
Masa tu je sudah mesti Shima kenal diri hati aku macam mana.
Dan aku pun kenal diri hati dia.
Untuk masa sekarang aku layankan je karenah dia di mana dia ingin dianggapi sebagai kekasih aku.
Namun,aku taknak fikir pasal bercinta dengan dia sampai berapa tahun.
Masa depan kita hanya Tuhan yang tentukan.
Susah senang hidup kita hanya harus terima.

Sekian.

Puteri Mahligai Ku

2005-03-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

Inilah balasan puisi aku pada puisi Shima yang dia karang.
P.S:Baby,hayatinya k.Deary think of baby when deary compose it.

Puteri Mahligai Ku

Di dalam kesunyian
Ku rasa gelombangnya
Menyintai mu satu kewajipan
Tapi tak terluah dengan perkataan

Tika fajar menyinsing
Ku sentuh sinar kasih
Dari mata mu dekat dan terasing
Aku menanti singkapan tabir cinta
Aku menanti saat menjadi nyata

Kesunyian ini terlalu indah
Walaupun pahit untuk menelan
Walaupun pedih sanggup ku tahan
Dan ku relakannya

Puteri di pintu mahligai
Ku lihat kasih mu melambai
Walaupun jauh tapi jelas
Jiwa ku menyentuh jiwa mu

Puteri di pintu mahligai
Nyatakan segala impian
Sambutlah tangan sambutlah
Semoga terlepas segala siksaan

Dengan sayap impian
Ingin terbang ke sana
Membawa cinta sebesar dunia
Apa jua milik ku dan ku tahu
Hanya untuk mu

Masjid Dengan Shima

2005-03-17T12:19:00.000-08:00

Aku tak boleh berbual panjang sebab nak masuk kelas nanti.
So aku akan berbual lincah kadoknya k.
Semalam lain sikit.
Aku nak buat lain dari yang lain.
Special katakan.
Hehe.
Aku buat fikiran nak pergi sembahyang dengan Shima.
dekat masjid.
For once.kita buat something yang pahala.
Aku sampai je rumah dari sekolah semalam.
Terus aku message Shima aku nya plan.
Shima terperanjat jugak.
Tak ada angin,tak ada ribut,terus hujan.
Hehe.
Akhirnya dia setuju dengan aku.
Aku pakai satu set baju kurung dengan songkok sekali.
Terus pergi rumah Shima.
Sampai je sana,aku terbeliak seh.
Mana tak,Shima dengan baju kurung "maroon" colour dia.
She was soooooo nice and pretty.
Aku tergamam sebentar.
"Dea,tutup mulut tu.Nanti lalat masuk.Hehe."
Shima cakap dengan aku.
Tak sedar pulak aku yang mulut aku terbukak pandang keagungan Shima.
"By,manis by pakai gini.Hari-hari pakai gini kan bagus.Sejuk je hati dea.Hehe."
Shima terus tersenyum bila aku cakap gitu.
Kita apa lagi,terus pergi masjid daerah Yishun nya.
Nama masjid aku terlupa lak.
Orang semakin tua katakan.
Pelupa maut.
Hehe.
Sampai sana,kita berpecah untuk sembahyang Maghrib dengan Isyak.
Dia dekat sudut wanita,aku dekat sudut lelaki.
Meeting place lepas sembahyang dekat pagar belakang.
If tak plan gitu,nanti kang Shima sesat.
Hehe.
Tengah jalan balik je,Shima cakap dengan aku,
"Dea,it was nice sekali-sekala kita pergi sembahyang gini ehk.Lagi-lagi pergi dengan dea.Ada jugak teman."
Hmm.....
Aku fikir bagus jugak kadang-kadang kita pergi sembahyang dekat masjid tau.
Dekatkan diri pada Allah S.W.T.

Oh yah!
Hari ini aku kerja.
Penat jugak nak kerja.
Badan ni rasa macam malas gitu.
Juf!
Kau better pergi kerja ehk.
Ingat,tak kerja tak ada duit.
Hehe.
Ok la ok la.

Diluted

2005-03-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

I'm cold, I'm ugly
I'm always confused by everything
I can stare into a thousand eyes
But every smile hides a bold-faced lie

It itches, it seethes, it festers and breathes
My heros are dead, they died in my head
Thin out the herd, squeeze out the pain
Something inside me has opened up again

Thoughts of me exemplified
All the little flaws I have denied
Forget today, forget whatever happened
Everyday I see a little more of overall deficiencies
I'm nothing short of being one complete catastrophe
What the hell did I do to deserve all of this

I save all the bullets from ignorant minds
Your insults get stuck in my teeth as they grind
Way past good taste, on our way to bad omens
I decrease, while my symptoms increase

God what the fuck is wrong
You act like you knew it all along
Your timing sucks, your silence is a blessing

All I ever wanted out of you was
Something you could never be
Now take a real good look at
What you've fucking done to me

Gimme any reason why I'd need you,God
Gimme any reason not to fuck you up
Gimme any reason why I'd need you, bitch
Gimme any reason not to fuck you up
I see you in me

I keep my scars from prying eyes
Incapable of ever knowing why
Somebody breathe, I've got to have an answer
Why am I so fascinated by
Bigger pictures, better things
But I don't care what you think
You'll never understand me.

Tersentuh Aku.

2005-03-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

Itulah puisi yang Shima karangkan untuk aku.
Sebenarnya dalam senyap-senyap dia dah pun dalam process karang.
Abeh tak bilang aku siang-siang tau.
Kepala butang betul.
Hehe.
Tapi aku mengaku.
Aku tersentuh dengan senikata yang Shima karang.
Pandai jugak dia karang.
Korang baca puisi yang Shima karang dan bagi comment korang dekat chatterbox k.
Thanx.
For your info,korang boleh baca puisi tu dekat "Puisi Dari Shima".
Pergi "Past Memories" dan pandai-pandai lah korang cari yer.
Jangan malas-malas.
Hehe.
Pada aku,it's nice.
More then nice,actually.
Nampaknya bolehlah dia join gang pengarang.
Hehe.

P.S:Baby,deary suka dengan puisi yang baby karangkan.Senikatanya memaparkan isi hati baby.Thanks baby.

Puisi Dari Shima

2005-03-16T14:51:00.000-08:00

Sayembara Kasih Hidup Kita

Kata-kata dari hati.
Menjadi bukti kesetiaan ku terhadap mu.
Sejujur-jujur hati menyintai mu.
Sejernih kolam yang ku semai.
Dihiasi bunga bouganvilla.
Yang harumannya menusuk kalbu.

Aku tahu hati mu retak kerna cinta.
Yang berbisa menghiris isi hati mu.
Sampai berdarah luka.
Tiada hilang dimakan usia.
Waktu yang panjang tak mungkin.
Merawat penuh sakitan yang ditanggung.

Namun berilah aku kesempatan.
Untuk bertetap di julang kamar mu.
Menjadi penawar.
Menjadi penerang hidup mu.
Akan masih aku disini.
Mempunyai kasih pada mu.
Walaupun diri mu menolak.
Jauh dari sudut ruang jiwa.

Aku rasa kehebatan sayang mu.
Membuat ku tak segan-silu.
Bermanja di dalam pelukan mu.
Aku sedia bersabar.
Dengan kemarahan dan lentingan.
Yang terlempah di wajah ku.
Untuk disamping mu.
Aku rela menempuh semua.
Bisa luka sedih.

Bagi ku peluang.
Oh sayang ku.
Diri dan hati.
Ku serah padamu.
Untuk kenangan yang manis.
Berputik menjadi.
Sayembara kasih hidup kita.

First Day Of Work

2005-03-16T13:41:00.000-08:00

Haiz.
My first day of work.
Hmm........
Nak bagi comment apa ehk.
Work's fun!
Boleh dikatakan tak seteruk Mc ar.
4 jam je kerja jadi tak rasa penatnya.
Tapi kenalah diri all the way.
Walaupun tak ada customer yang panggil kita untuk place order.
Boss dah cakap gitu.
Kita buat jela.
Oh yah!
Aku buat salah jugak bila hari pertama aku.
Aku hantar salah order dekat salah table.
Hahaha!
Gedegak betul aku ni.
Betul jugak Shima panggil aku gedegak.
Hehe.
Aku ada jugak buat kawan dengan waitress yang kerja dengan aku.
Carolline dengan Rachel.
Dorang not bad.
Just that aku dengar Rachel ni ada malas sikit kerja.
Anak orang kaya katakan.
So ada pemalas sikit.
Hehe.
Tapi dia power seh!
Hehe.
Maut Juf kalau Shima baca ni.
Nanti kang dia gayang kau cukup-cukup.
Ala.
Ada mata,tengoklah.
Hehe.
Caroline dah lama jugak kerja dekat situ.
Agak-agak dua tahun.
Lama seh!
Aku suka berbual dengan Caroline.
Dia fun!
Lepas je restaurant close pukul 930pm,kitaorang pun pergi makan.
Aku try dorangnya "Chicken Buritto".
Sedap seh!
Kenyang pun ada.
Alhamdulliah.......
So nari aku tak kerja.
Off.
Bagus jugak.
Boleh aku rehat.
Tapi spoilt lah.
Shima nak jumpa.
Tapi kesian nya pasal,aku pergi jugak lah.
Nanti kang dia nangis.
Banjir daerah Yishun dia.
Hehe.
Lagipun boleh aku rehat dekat rumah dia.
Macam aku tak pernah rehat-rehat dekat rumah dia.
Dah dua tiga kali seh aku dekat sana.
My second home.
That's where i belong.
Haha!
Aku dengar-dengar Shima nak karang puisi untuk aku.
Pertama kali aku tengok Shima karang.
Entah dia tahu ke tak macam mana nak karang.
Nanti dia karang lain lak.
Hehe.
Well,we'll see how it goes.
If Shima pandai karang,aku salute dia.
Atleast ada jugak insan yang minat karang puisi.
Susah nak cari orang begitu dekat dunia ni sekarang.
One in a million.

Sekolah hari ini boring.
Tak ada apa-apa nak buat.
Rasa macam nak quit sekolah je.
Hmm.........
Still thinking about it.
Give you the answer bila aku dah make up kepala otak aku ni.
Hehe.

Khas Pada Shima

2005-03-15T16:17:00.000-08:00

Inilah puisi yang khas aku karang untuk Shima.
Tajuk diberi:Mahligai.
P.S:Baby,deary harap baby amati senikata yang deary karang ini.

Sungguh lama.
Ku pendamkan.
Menjadi rasa naluri.
Panah cinta ku tembusi.
Sifat mu itu.

Riwayat mu ku satukan.
Di dalam hakikat cinta.
Makrifat pun seabadi.
Ku tak mengerti.
Cintamu padaku.

Kasihku mimpikan dikau
Beribu makna.
Beribu suka duka.
Ku sanggup tempuhi.
Hadirlah kasih.
Bagaikan titian pelangi.
Bukalah gerbang mahligai.

Di hati ini.
Mahligai seribu.
Impian dan bayangan.
Masih ku sembunyikan rahsianya.
Mahligai seribu.
Ku impikan kenyataan.
Pada mu ingin.
Ku zahirkan kasih.
Terangi ia.

Bawakan cinta mu.
Wangian syurgawi.
Mahligai seribu suci.
Hakikat ku menunggu.
Hadirlah mu bersama kerelaan.
Nescaya ada erti kebahagiaan.
Tak terucap dengan kalimah syahdu.
Aku cinta pada mu.

Taking Photo

2005-03-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

Semalam boleh dikatakan busy jugak.
Mana tak,lepas sekolah je aku terus jumpa Shima dekat Yishun MRT station.
Macam biasa aku lambat jugak.
Ala.
Lambat pun bukannya sangat.
Sepuluh minit je.
Tapi Shima don't mind tunggu aku.
Gitu bolehlah aku datang lambat-lambat lagi lain kali ehk.
Hehe.
Lagipun Shima yang sanggup tunggu aku.
So biarlah dia tunggu.
Heez.
Sampai je,Shima tersenyum lebar bila nampak je muka aku.
Suka nah budak tu tengok muka aku yang karat ni!
Hehe.
Anyway,kita terus pergi kedai gambar.
Sebab aku perlu buat "passport" size gambar untuk kerja aku ni.
So sampai je kedai,aku terus betulkan rambut aku.
Yela.
Nak amek gambar katakan.
So kenalah hencem-hencem cikit.
Hehe.
Shima tolong jugak betulkan rambut aku.
"Cutelah dea ni.Hehe."
Tu apa yang si makcik tu cakap dekat.
Gila tu budak.
Muka aku ni manalah cute.
Potek nah mata dia.
Hehe.
Lepas je azab kena buat muka "freeze" untuk kurang lima minit.
Terus gambarnya develop.
The outcome........
Nice!
Heez.
Shima pun cakap aku nampak kacak.
Can't argue with that.
Hehe.
Harganya is $6 untuk 4 gambar.
Mahal seh!
Tapi apa nak buat.
Untuk kerja,sangguplah aku keluarkan 6 bucks.
Fikir-fikir,aku ni pelokek jugak ehk.
Hehe.
Aku bagi Shima satu sebab dia cakap nak buat tatapan bila rindu nanti.
Jangan dia buat yang tak senonoh dengan gambar suar!
Hehe.
Lepas tu je kita pun pergi makan.
Kenyang je perut aku hantar Shima balik.
Sebelum aku angkat kaki dari corridor dia,aku suruh Shima tengok blog aku hari ini.
Aku akan letak puisi yang aku dah karang untuk dia.
At last,it's finish.
Hehe.

So nanti ni aku nak pergi kerja.
Orientation.
Dorang ajar aku cara-cara yang patut dibuat.
Macam aku ni tak tahu.
Hehe.
Aku dah biasa da dengan cara-cara melayan customer.
Top-Grade tau.
Hehe.
Mana tak,dulu kerja dekat McDonald per!
Well,update later.
Aku kena pergi siap-siap untuk kerja ni.
Gementar jugak.
Tapi aku fikir boleh buatlah.
Bismillah.

Aduhai!Seribu Kali Sayang

2005-03-15T16:00:00.000-08:00

Berdosakah diri ku
Terpaksa melepaskan
Cinta mu yang serapuh
Dahan nan kering usang
Yang akhirnya kan patah
Terhempas gemeretap
Oh sungguh memilukan
Tak dapat ku bayangkan

Seribu kali sayang
Sangka ku kan ke mati
Cerita kasih kita
Rupanya seketika
Setelah merelakan
Setelah kau bisikkan
Segugus janji-janji
Tergamak kau mungkiri

Apakah sebenar yang terjadi
Hingga kau bersikap demikian
Sedangkan kau
Sesungguhnya percaya
Kasih ku tak berbelah bagi

Aduhai
Tak sanggup ku kenangkan
Semua telah nyata
Cinta mu gurauan
Datang dan hilang
Semahu hati mu
Itulah falsafah
Pegangan cinta mu
Namun harus kau ingat
Hati yang manakah
Selamanya kan sabar.

Wait And Bleed

2005-03-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

I've felt the hate rise up in me.
Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves.
I wander out where you can't see.
Inside my shell
I wait and bleed.

I wipe it off on tile.
The light is brighter this time.
Everything is 3D blasphemy.
My eyes are red and gold.
The hair is standing straight up.
This is not the way i pictured me.
I can't control my shakes.
How the hell i got here.
Something about this.
So very strong.
I have to laugh loud.
I wish i didn't like this.
Is it a dream or memory.

Get outta my head cause i don't need this.
Why didn't i see this.
I'm a victim.
Manchurian candidate.
I have sinned by just.
Makin my mind up and taking your breath away.

You haven't learned a thing.
I haven't changed a thing.
My flesh in my bones.
The pain was always free.
And it waits for you.

Insan Tak Punya

2005-03-14T12:10:00.000-08:00

Aku adalah insan yang tak punya
Cuma rasa cinta membara
Lalu tercipta rinduku padanya
Kerana cinta bahagia

Pujangga menyatakan cinta itu berharga
Dari emas dan permata
Lalu ku bawa cinta di persada jiwa
Sinar menyuluh gelita

Sewaktu debar cintamu terasa melanda
Bangkit rinduku padamu di ketika itu
Lalu tersentak diriku sedari lamunan
Kini sebenarnya aku telah kau tinggalkan

Aku adalah insan yang tak punya
Kilauan emas permata
Lalu ku cuba menaburi cinta
Bagimu tiada nilainya
Tiada harta dan cinta

Lepak Dekat Rumah Shima

2005-03-14T11:59:00.000-08:00

Hmm.......
Let's talk about Saturday yang baru je lepas k.
Saturday aku decided pergi rumah Shima lepak-lepak sana.
Parents dia tak ada kat rumah.
Biasalah.
Orang kerja katakan.
Earn $15K per........
Banyak duit.
Duit!
Hehe.
Shima sorang-sorang dekat rumah so dia message aku suruh datang rumah dia teman sampai parents dia balik and that is around 930pm.
930pm!
Lama tu.
Aku sampai sana pukul 1pm.
Kita duduk-duduk tengok tv.
Berbual.
Usik dia tak abis-abis.
Biasak jugak!
Hehe.
Aku pun pakai comp dia masuk net.
And kita baring-baring dekat bilik dia.
Boring kan?!
But not so ar.
Dekat rumah dia aku ada jugak karang puisi khas untuk dia.
Tapi belum habis lagi.
Nanti dah "complete" semua,aku "publish" dekat blog orite!
Kita ada jugak turun pergi kedai.
Teman dia beli barang masak dekat Shop N Save.
Mana tak,Shima masak tau!
Aiseyman!
Pandai masak makcik ni.
Hehe.
Shima buatkan aku Nasi Goreng Seafood.
Suapkan aku lagi.
Macam aku ni tak ada tangan sendiri nak makan.
Hehe.
Degil lak Shima nak jugak suapkan.
So aku layankan jela.
Budak ni suka nah dengan masakan seafood tau.
Kalau gini,bolehlah dia jadi part-time "fishmonger".
Hehe.
Lagipun aku belum sarapan masa tu so kesiankan aku,dia masakan lah.
Lepas kenyang je perut ni.
Apa lagi.
Debamlah badan ni dekat katil dia.
Orang dah kenyang,rasa macam nak tidur lak.
Yawn!
Korang tahu tak.
Aku sedap-sedap tidur dekat katil dia yang lembut tu,tangan Shima lak gatal.
Ada orang tidur,dia sedap-sedap amek gambar.
Paiseh siol bila nampak muka sendiri bila tidur.
Hehe.
Inilah gambarnya yang budak bedebah tu amek........
Hehe.

Ada Shima cakap aku kelihatan "cute" bila tidur.
Apa lagi.
Aku pun bergasaklah dengan dia dekat situ jugak.
Hehe.
Tak boleh bagi mukanya.
Hehe.
Lepas tu je kita pun tidur sama-sama sampai waktu di alarm clock pukul 9pm.
Lepas tu je aku pun balik.
Penat pun ada.
Haiz.

Sunday pulak aku pergi interview untuk kerja.
Daerah Faber Drive sana.
Kerja dekat Mexican restaurant sebagai waiter.
Nama restaurant tak bolehlah bilang.
Confidential.
Nanti korang serbu sana maut aku di kerjakan boss restaurant tu.
Hehe.
Hourly rate nye not bad.
5 bucks/hour.
4 hours/day je.
Kerja yang lumayan betul tak.
Nipun aku dapat recommend dari god-bro aku.
Dia dah tiga tahun lebih kerja dekat sana.
So mesti kamching nye dengan boss.
Shima tanya aku,"Asal dea nak kerja?"
Eh eh minah ni!
Orang nak kerja,orangnya sukalah!
Hehe.
Dia takut nanti aku kerja aku tak luangkan masa dengan dia.
Tapi akhirnya Shima pun setuju sebab aku nak cari duit dengan penat letih aku sendiri.
So Tuesday aku start kerja.
Hmm......
Tak sabar nak mula kerja.
Aku dah pernah kerja dekat McDonald.
So aku ada "foundation"nya nak layan customers.
Biasanya restaurant tu di"haunted" dengan mat dan minah "salleh".
Eurasian lah pada dorang yang tak tahu apa tu "salleh".
Hehe.
So dorang ni choosy sikit.
Ini tak boleh,itu tak boleh.
Kang aku bang kepala dorang baru tau.
Hehe.
So hari ini lepas sekolah aku terus pergi buat passport size photo dengan Shima.
Dia teman aku kali ni.
Hehe.

Oh yah!
Baru jugak abes buat aku nya Maths On-Line Quiz dekat sekolah.
Nak tahu baper aku score?!
8/20!
Argh!
I fail!
Shit!
Big Shit!
Hehe.
On-Line Quiz yang pertamanya aku pass.
Tapi yang ini nya aku fail.
Pantatlah!
Hehe.
Aku nya Mid-Semester Maths pun fail.
Dapat 40/100!
Haiz.
Entah lah kalau aku boleh pass untuk aku nya Final-Semester ni ke tak.
Just need to revise alot.
That's it!
Revise.
Hehe.

My Care To Shima

2005-03-12T09:11:00.000-08:00

Aiyah!
Semalam aku kena pujuk Shima sebab dia dapat baca blog yang aku letak petang tu.
Sampai je rumah dia,mak oi,muka macam anjing tak diberi makan satu tahun seh!
Hehe.
Mata Shima merah lebam.
Yela,baru je nangis rabak-rabak nye.
Dia bukakkan pintu terus berlalu dari situ masuk bilik.
Merajuk lah tu.
Like i care!
Hehe.
Apa lagi.
Aku terus pergi "comfort" dia lah.
Pandai buat orang nangis,pandailah pujok.
Betul tak.
Hehe.
Aku terangkan lah pada Shima yang aku belum sedia nak matair ni semua.
Aku masih banyak nak buat dengan hidup aku.
Lagipun if aku matair,aku belum tahu dapat beri kasih sayang yang pernah aku hulurkan pada kekasih aku.
Shima pun cakap,"By sanggup tunggu dea sampai dea sedia terima by sebagai kekasih dea.If kita jadi matair,by sanggup bagi dea space dengan kawan-kawan gerl dea as long as dea tahu batasnya.Pada by,by takkan flirt dengan mat-mat mana sebab by tahu dea are the best guy dea wanna have in by nya life.By sanggup beri dea segala-galanya untuk dea bahagia. "
Dia cakap je gitu terus aku tersentuh seh!
Mana tak,dia sanggup bagi aku keluar rapat-rapat dengan kawan-kawan gerl aku.
Shima ingin setia pada aku seorang je.
Walaupun aku akan rapat-rapat dengan kawan-kawan gerl aku.
Haiz.......
Susah nak buat fikiran mana harus aku pilih.
Aku dah cukup sakit dengan cinta sampaikan aku dah tak percaya dengan luahan kata cinta.
APA HARUS AKU BUAT!
Aku confuse!
Akhirnya aku cakap satu benda dengan Shima je.
"Bagi dea masa untuk buat fikiran.Memang dea mengaku dea ada perasaan pada by tapi dea belum pasti nak percaya perasaan dea tu.But if by ada feeling pada mat lain,by jangan tunggu dea k.By buatlah apa yang akan membahagikan by."
So lepas tu je,aku apa lagi,pujuk Shima dengan kacau-kacau dia lah.
Dia pun tersenyum-senyum ketawa-ketawa tak henti-henti kena usik dengan aku.
Hehe.
Lepas tu je,aku belikan dia chocolate dekat kedai bawah rumah dia.
Suka nah Shima bila aku suapkan dia chocolate.
Yela.
Romantic katakan.
Hehe.
Abeh orang marah dengan aku so aku kenalah buat baik dengan dia.
Nanti aku jumpa Shima lagi.
Tak jelak-jelak ke Juf kau asyik jumpa dia je!
Alah nak buat apa............
Nasib badan.............
Hehe.
We're going to Tangs.
Dia nak belanja aku baju and jeans dekat sana.
Banyak duit dia.
Mana tak,bapak Shima earn 15K a month.
Manager company katakan.
Hehe.
Tapi yepon pun simpanlah sikit untuk hari esok-esok kan.

Tourniquet.

2005-03-11T16:32:00.000-08:00

I tried to kill the pain.
But only brought more.
So much more.
I'm dying.
And I'm pouring.
Crimson regret.
And betrayal.

I'm dying.
Praying.
Bleeding.
Screaming.

Am I too lost to be saved.
Am I too lost.
My god.
My tourniquet.
Return to me salvation.
Do you remember me.
Lost for so long.
Will you be on the other side.
Will you forgive me.
My tourniquet.
Return to me salvation.
I want to die!

My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries for deliverance.
Will I be denied.
Muslim.
Tourniquet.
My suicide.

Meet My Sec-Sch Mate

2005-03-11T15:56:00.000-08:00

Hai.
Baru balik dari sembahyang jumaat.
Penat jugak ni.
Tapi apa nak buat,duduk rumah pun boring.
Alah Juf,hidup kau memang selalu boring!
Mana tak boring kau cakap!
If hidup kau tak boring,potong kepala aku ni!
Hahaha!
Well......
Semalam around pukul enam lebih aku jumpa kawan ex-secondary classmate.
Haiz.....
Dah lama tak jumpa dia,berbual pun tak selalu.
Tapi semalam bila jumpa dia,mak kau,muka dia lain seh!
Lebih cengkung aku nampak.
Hah!
Blame it on her study lah!
Asyik belajar je sampaikan muka dgn badan pun naik kurus.
Kecian.........
Hehe.
But we catch up on all times sake.
Berbual pasal ex aku sebab dia dulu kawan rapat dengan ex aku.
But not anymore.
Entah eh asal.
Maybe ex aku jual mahal kot!
Hehe!
Memang selalu si gedeng tu!
Hehe.
Aku teman dia pergi beli barang dia kat JP lepas tu berbual bawah block dia.
Lama jugak kita berbual.
Biasalah dah lama tak jumpa.
Dah around dua tahun seh tak bersemuka dengan dia and have a great chat.
Semalam berbual sampai pukul tujuh lebih seh.
Lama ehk.
Banyak benda nak berbual lah deng!
Hehe.
Aku dengar-dengar dari dia yang kawan aku lagi satu,sama class jugak dulu,dah lebih "daring" untuk bukak mulut dia.
Sampaikan berani jawap balik dekat cikgu dia.
Aiceh man!
Respect ar budak macam gitu!
Sokong gila maut all the way!
Hehe.
People change,katakan.
Aku ni nak berubah-ubah,tak berubah-ubah seh.
Nak aku jadi lebih jahat tapi diri tak diizinkan.
Benci diri aku ni!
Hehe.

Oh ya!
Terperanjat jugak aku bila pergi ke blog kawan aku yang lagi satu ni.
Nak tau asal.
Puisi yang aku karang untuk dia,she letak dekat blog dia.
It was shweet rite!
Hehe.
Aku bukan per.
Aku kesian dia asyik bersedih je soooo aku karanglah satu puisi untuk dia.
Nak cheer her up so aku "pecah otak" karang puisi itu.
What are friends for ritez!
Bila sedih friends jugak yang akan datang untuk mewarnakan hidup.
Hehe.
Ada dia cakap aku ni magician.
Sebab words aku work wonders.
Macam aku ni boleh buat orang hilang.
Poof!
Haha!
But aku happy untuk buat dia smiling.
Hmm......
Aku kerja sebagai clown pun ok ehk.
Keep on making people smile sampai panjang lebar senyuman dorang.
Hehe.
Yup!
We do stay in touch kies.
Aku doakan dia dapat masuk course yang dia inginkan.
And that's Applied Science dekat TP.
Dan jugak aku doakan dia dapat guy yang akan menyintai dia selama-lamanya.
Yang takkan mempermainkan perasaan dan hati dia macam ex dia tu.
Keparat nak mampos!
Hehe.
Ada ex dia cakap he find a better gurl den her.
Sawat betul budak gedegak tu!
Hehe.
Aku tengok kawan aku ni yang terbaik tau.
Tak bastard.
Setia.
Loving.
Jujur.
Baik.
Penyayang.
Bodohnya budak lepaskan seseorang yang sungguh "special" macam kawan aku ni.
Tapi,his not meant for her tau.
Kawan aku ni boleh dapat lelaki yang lebih baik dan setia dari mat sawat tu.
Trust me.
How i know.
Aku ni kan ahli nujum.
Mestilah aku tahu!
Hehe.
Anyway,hope kawan aku ni akan selalu bahagia dengan hidup dia.
Lup ya!

Eh Juf!
Kau cakap orang abeh kau caner?!
Aku caner?!
Mestilah aku macam gini jugak.
Aku taknak matair-matair ni semua lagi ar.
Penat nak matair.
Layan karenah perempuan je.
Tapi perempuan tu tak hargai diri aku,buat apa aku nak hargai dorang.
Lagipun gini aku boleh enjoy hidup aku dengan sebarang kawan perempuan aku.
Tak ada yang boleh halang.
I'm free to do what i want!
So aku hanya ingin doakan kawan-kawan aku bahagia dengan pasangan dorang.
Aku pun dah malas nak kahwin ni semua.
Aku tengok kakak aku je dah macam nak pecah kepala seh.
Mana tak.
Nak kena fikir pasal persiapan kahwin ini semua.
Abeh macam mana dengan Shima,Juf?!
Shima?!
Macam gitu jugak lah!
Aku layankan je karenah dia.
Tengok baper lama dia boleh tahan menunggu aku macam buah tak jatuh.
Fuhwahahaha!
Jahat aku ni ehk!
Hehe.
Pe nak buat.
Shima sendiri dah tahu aku dah taknak ada matair,dia lagi nak berloving-loving dengan aku.
Masih lagi dia nak berkepit-kepit dengan aku.
Masih lagi nak menuggu di dahan yang rapuh.
Lantak dia lah!
Tapi aku memang mengaku aku tersentuh dengan kasih sayang dia tapi hati ini dah cukup dipermainkan macam anak patung yang disia-siakan.
Perempuan nak matair,dorang boleh "pancing" lelaki lain.
Aku dah bolayan dengan dorang!
Hehe.
Pada aku Shima hanyalah seorang kawan.
Tak lebih dari itu.
Lagipun kita tak "officially" matair per........
So aku maseh boleh keluar dan buat apa-apa dengan kawan-kawan perempuan aku.
Inipun Shima nak jumpa aku nanti.
Penatlah nak asyik jumpa dia.
Tapi if tak jumpa,budak tu sedih lak.
Macam budak-budak kecik ar dia ni.
Eh,grow up lah.
Kau tu dah lah nak 18 tahun December ni.
Hehe.
But sayang aku pada Shima takkan kurang sebagai kawan.

My Immortal

2005-03-09T14:06:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave.
I wish that you would just leave.
Because your presence still lingers here.
And it wont leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal.
This pain is just too real.
There's just too much that time cannot erase.

You used to captivate me.
By your resonating light.
Now i'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts,.
My once pleasant dreams.
Your voice it chased away.
All the sanity in me.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me.
I've been alone all along.

Soccer Match

2005-03-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

Well........
Baru jugak abis class aku for the day.
Just one class.
Lecture.
Boring..........
Hehe.
Lepas ni aku nak pergi jumpa Shima.
Tapi tak tahu nak pergi mana dengan dia.
Mana eh nak pergi...........
Hmmm...........
Oh what the crap,duduk dekat rumah dia karang aku nya lirik sudah.
That's my second home.
Hehe.
Nak tahu something tak.
Shima bought for me a new pair of shoe.
Yipee!
Dan ia adalah kasut yang aku nak kan so much.
High-cut black Converse shoes.
Betulnya pada mulanya aku memang taknak terima dia belikan aku kasut.
Tapi dia cakap if aku tak accept,dia kan rasa sedih.
Sebab dia betul-betul nak belikan aku.
Aku nye orang lak tak suka tengok orang yang aku kenal bersedih atau feel down.
So terpaksalah aku accept.
And i'm wearing it now.
Haha.
Tapi size nya besar sikit.
Size 15.
Woah!
Besar mautnya!
Hehe.
Last size yang ada.
Tapi teringin aku nak kasut tu so aku don't mind lah.
Asalkan tak besar sangat macam kasut "clown" sudah.
Betul tak!
Anyway,thanks eh Shima untuk kasut tu.
Treasure it alot.
Haha.
Semalam aku dengan budak-budak jam aku ada main bola kat padang daerah Bukit Gombak.
Penat jugak ar.
Mana tak,dah lama seh aku tak main bola sejak Sec 4 lagi.
Pulak tu aku heavy-smoker.
So aku keep panting during the first half.
Sampaikan Shima risau seh aku ok ke tak.
Clearly seen at her face.
But after a short rest and drink,aku boleh get on with the game.
Shima hanya tengokkan aku main je.
Budak tu memang tak ada kerja nak buat tau.
Asik tengok orang je.
Hehe.
Btw,aku dapat score 2 goals untuk kumpulan aku.
Haha.
Kitaorang nya budak-budak band lawan dengan budak-budak ITE Bishan,kawan-kawan Izam.
Tak sangka aku dapat score.
Haha.
Luck katakan!
Yeah!
Like real like that!
Tengok muka sikit.
Cannot make it one lah!
Hehe.
Abeh ada Shima cakap aku main bagus.
Dia suka nah tengok aku main.
Potek kot budak tu!
Hehe.
Yang aku frustnya,budak-budak Bishan tu asik tengok-tengokkan Shima je.
Pulak tu dorang asyik senyum-senyum dekat Shima.
But Shima tak layan pun dorang.
Haha!
Budak-budak bodoh!
Orang tak ingin pun kat korang lar!
Nasib baik Shima "cool"kan aku,if tak dekat padang bola tu jugak aku bagi dorang penumbuk Nabi.
Aku ni memang mengaku,panas baran jugak.
Tapi panas baran pada tempatnya.
Ala,dorang semua budak-budak taik la!
Lepas aje bola,mak kau,kaki aku betulnya cramp siol!
Lepas Shima urutkan baru lega sikit sakitnya.
Pandai lak budak tu mengurut.
Magic fingers katakan!
Hehe!
Ini pun budak-budak jam aku ajak aku main lagi lain kali.
What's my reply................
YES!
So lepas bola aku pun hantar Shima balik lepas tu terus aku pun balik.
So hari ni si Shima pun nak jumpa aku.
Duduk dekat rumah dia karang lirik jela.
So you see,schdule aku ni busy sejak kebelakangan ni.
What to do.....
Dengan cara ni,taklah aku perlu fikir pasal kelukaan aku.
Hmm..........

Pecah Lubang Aku!

2005-03-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

Aiyah!
Shima dah tahu pasal aku nya blog ni.
Problem problem.
Si Izam lah yang pergi pandai-pandai pecah lubang pasal blog aku dekat Shima.
Sekarang Shima dah dapat baca apa aku tulis dekat sini.
Eh Juf,abeh Shima dah dapat baca lagi kau nak tulis isi hati kau ni semua ker?!
P la jahanam!
Aku tulis apa aku suka.
Shima tak suka,dia boleh angkat kaki,fly kite!
Hehe!
Shima patut faham apa aku rasa kalau dia betul-betul sayangkan aku.
Aku nak tengok sejauh mana dia boleh tahan dengan karenah aku.
Well.........
Semalam lepas aku buat project dengan classmate aku,terus aku turun Yishun pergi rumah Shima.
Dia sorang-sorang dekat rumah so aku teman dia.
Shima tunjukkan aku pix semua yang kita amek dekat beach East Coast.
It was nice.
Dengan sunset as the background,the outcome was magnificent!
Yar,that's the good word to describe it.
Selain itu,kita tengok DVD sambil aku isap rokok,dengar lagu dekat Hi-Fi,sempat aku mandi sekejap dan terus kita baring-baring je.
Malam itu agak pukul 7pm Shima ajak aku pergi shopping centre.
Aku dah lupa apa nama shopping centre tu.
Whatever!
Jalan-jalan dekat situ dan teman dia beli baju dekat sana.
Tak banyak yang kita buat.
Lepak je.
Lagipun aku penat.
Biasalah,baru balik dari sekolah.
Pukul 9pm je aku terus balik dari rumah dia sebab parents dia coming back pukul 930pm.
Hari ini Shima lagi nak jumpa aku.
Tak boring ker budak itu.
Haiz.

Cinta Suci Tiada Lagi[Karangan Jufri]

2005-03-08T11:33:00.000-08:00

Usah kau tangiskan
Pada cinta lama
Usah kau impikan
Kita kan bersama
Biarkan ia terus berlalu
Bagaikan mimpi

Kini kau kembali
Merayu lagi
Kaitkan semula
Madah-madah cinta
Harapkan berbunga
Berputik semula
Yang telah lama
Gugur ke bumi

Dalam sukma mimpi ku
Ia telah berlalu
Cinta yang dulu suci
Bagi ku tiada lagi
Aku yang masih
Di taman ini
Mencari bunga
Mawar berduri
Ku sangka madu
Racun berbisa
Itulah hakikatnya

Nak ku tingglkan
Terasa sayang
Ingin ku belai
Tangan tak sampai
Pastinya kita
Saling merindu
Ku masih
Cinta Pada mu.

Inilah karya lirik aku yang terbaru.
Amcam......

Nanti jumpa Shima!

2005-03-07T00:37:00.000-08:00

Woah!
Shima baru je message aku.
Dia nak jumpa aku lepas sekolah aku.
Rindu cakapnya.
Pi lah!
Hehe!
Aku bilang Shima,tapi hari ni aku kena buat project dengan classmate aku.
Dia cakap dia sanggup tunggu aku sampai aku abis aku nya project.
Tunggulah kau!
Bukannya aku yang suruh dia tunggu.
Betul tak!
Shima abis class dia pukul 2pm so dia kenalah tunggu sampai 5pm.
Haha!
Biar dia tunggu macam buah tak jatuh!
Naughty aku!
Lepas jumpa dia kat rumah dia,tengoklah nak lepak kat mana dengan Shima.
So..........
I'll update later yarz.
ChaoZ!
End Of Transmission
----------------------------------------------------

Day with Shima.

2005-03-07T00:34:00.000-08:00

Haiz.
Monday lagi.
Boring seh.
Biasalah,Monday Blues katakan.
Haha!
Takder mood nak pergi poly.
Macam nak tidur aje kat rumah.
Tapi,nak kata aper kan.
Terpaksa jugak pergi.
Nak taknak bukan halnya.
Well.............
Saturday yang baru lepas is fun!
For the first time,aku keluar dengan Shima.
Tapi kali ini hanya aku dgn Shima aje
Just her and me!
Biasanya keluar dengan member-member that's including Shima.
But last Saturday just her and me!
Kita pergi to the beach and watch the sunset.
It was nice!
So the romantic katakan.
Haha!
Whatever!
Aku betulnya tak ada plan on Saturday.
Tak aleh-aleh Shima message aku tanya nak keluar tak.
Boring katanya.
Haha!
Like i care like that!
Tapi aku sendiri tak ada nak buat paper kat rumah so aku go aje!
Sampai sana dah pun pukul 6pm and kita just sit at the "stonehedge"(whatever you call that thing,haha!) dan tengok keajaiban hak Tuhan.
Duduk,duduk jugak.
Tapi sakat Shima sudah mestinya.
Tak habis-habis aku "buli' dia sampaikan nak nangis budak tu.
Kwangkwangkwang!
So what!
If dia nangis,macam aku kesah sangat.
Takder masa aku nak pujuk!
Kita ada jugak amek pix dengan digital camera Canon Shima.
Just me,Shima and the sunset.
Berkepet-kepet kita amek pix bersama.
Haha!
Yang peliknya,Shima asyik tengokkan aku je.
Per,macam ada yang tak kena dengan muka aku gitu.
But enjoying the sunset,as she cuddles in me,was like a wonderful and memorable thing.
Dah macam matair gitu.
Arrgh!
Apa yang aku fikirkan ni!
Jufri,stop thinking like that!
Kau tak seharusnya ada matair!
Jangan bercinta!
Buang masa kau je,Jufri!
Renungan mata Shima masa di silauan oleh matahari di ufuk tu seperti menyentuh hati aku seh.
She have such innocent eyes.
Nasib baik masa itu aku tak "accept" signal Shima nak mengucup bibir dia.
But hati ini tergerak nak menyambutnya.
Aku tetap akan pegang pada pegangan aku bahawa aku dah nak berhenti bercinta dalam hidup.
I think i made her hurt inside.
Shima macam boleh tangkap yang aku tak nak matair dengan dia.
Tapi asal dia tetap teguh ada hati kat aku.
Pergilah cari jantan lain.
Pergilah mengacau jantan lain!
Menyibuk je dengan aku.
Haha!
Gila aku!
But whatever it is,lepas je matahari tu dah hilang digantikan kegelapan malam,aku dengan Shima pun angkat kaki dari situ.
Kita pergi makan malam kat kedai kopi.
Yang "fed-up"nye,aku nak pergi bayar nasi briyani aku,Shima terus keluarkan duit dia bayarkan makanan kita berdua.
Aku bukannya suka sangat perempuan bayarkan aku.
Tak senang hati aku!
Aku tahulah bapak dia manager dalam satu company ni tapi tak payahlah nak bayar bayarkan.
Betul tak!
Tengah makan tu,sempat budak tu suapkan aku dengan nasi goreng seafood dia.
Menyampah aku!
Hehe!
Makanan dia,pergilah makan.
Nak bersuap-suap lak.
Hmmph!
Lepas isi perut,aku terus "lite" rokok aku dan berbuallah dengan Shima.
Kat kedai kopi pun sempat sakat dia.
Entahlah,macam "best"gitu sakat si kenet tu.
Kakaka!
Dah pun pukul 9pm,kita pun naik bus balik.
Tapi sebagai lelaki,adalah tugas aku untuk hantar dia sampai depan rumah.
Mana tak,dah malam gitu pulak tu dia perempuan.
Tak baik gitu lepaskan dia balik sendiri.
Abeh gitu pun Shima cakap "so the romantic........".
Bluek!!!!
Nak muntah aku di buatnya!
Sambil dia cakap gitu,sambil dia sentuh muka aku.
Eeeiii!!!
Nak "loving-loving" ar gitu!
Blah lar!
Perempuan memang pandai berDRAMA!
Sampai je kat depan rumah Shima,dia jemput aku masuk dalam rumah dia duduk-duduk tapi dah pun malam lagi pun besok aku sekolah so lebih baik aku balik.
Tapi sebelum aku langkah pergi nak jalan,Shima say something that makes mi glad.
Shima cakap"U,today was the most memorable and exciting day i've ever had.It was so romantic being with you.Tak pernah i rasa kebahagiaan gini dengan ex-ex i.You're wonderful.Thanks,deary.Malam i message u kies.Reply tau.Hehe."
Sejuk hati aku.
By the way,Shima ada 5 ex je.
Itu pun semua jantan berscandal-scandal dengan perempuan lain belakang Shima.
At least i,ve make her happy.
Aku suka nah buat orang happy.
Dorang happy,aku dah bersyukur.
Well,conclusion Shima not that bad.
She's so the sweet even sweeter than any sweet chocolates!

Boring

2005-03-02T12:57:00.000-08:00

Apa nak buat ehk!
Boring seh!
Mendak pun ada.
Sekarang ni tengah hujan,payah ar nak lepak.
Nak dudok kat rumah,mak pulak suka nah beleteh!
Tak senang tau kat umah.
Pukul 2pm nanti aku dah nak pergi jumpa member-member aku pergi jammin dekat Jurong East Central.Ala yang sebelah entertainment saner.
Murah seh kat sana!
Dah aku kena "pass-up" lyric-lyric yang aku dah karang for the past few days.
Altogether ada empat lyrics yang aku karang.
Semuanya concept balada.
Fikir-fikir nak jugak aku jadi macam pengarah lyric terkenal macam Eddie Hamid ke tau Saari Amri or better macam Patrick Kamis.
Aiseyman!
Ini pon aku karang lyric bukan senang tau.
Nak kena betul-betul mendalam bila karang kata-kata apa nak letak.
Must feel deep.
Biasanya aku cuba berada dalam satu scenario di mana aku dapat merasai apa yang ingin di luahkan.
Aku harap sore-throat aku dah baik ar untuk vocal nanti.
If tak,kenalah aku main drum.
Drum maseh beginner lagi.
Itu pun Khai yang ajar.
Mahaguru katakan.
Boy nak ajar aku main guitar elektrik tapi aku bukan nah suka main guitar elektrik.
Nanti jari aku terikat kang.
Hahaha!
Forget about it.
Oh yah!
Si Shima pun asyik tengok aku lain macam aje.
Asyik nampak aku,tersenyum senyum macam orang gila.
Member-member ada cakap jugak yang si budak Shima ni ada "crush" kat aku.
Umur dia dengan umur aku tak jauh ar.
Different of 2 years.
Budak ITE Bishan.
Ok jugak si budak Shima ni.
Manis.
Baik hati pun ada.
Tapi baik baik ada makna,betulkan.
But fun jugak ar si Shima ni.
Aku suka nah sakat dia.
Ada kadang-kadang terpelok dia jugak.
Kekeke!
Dia don't mind.
But so what if Shima sukakan aku,aku maseh nak enjoy life!
Buat apa aku nak.
No one stopping me.
If ada girl,takleh aku nak rapat-rapat dengan kawan-kawan gerl aku.
Nanti girl aku confirm meletup.
Betul tak!
Shima btw is one of the vocalis.
But kadang-kadang aje dia jam.
Selalunya dia duduk tengok kitaorang jammin.
Shima dan Izlin aje yang gender laen jammin dengan we all.
Alamak baru aku ingat,besok ada mini project data comm aku.
Mati mati.Aku belum practice lagi.
Macam malas gitu nak practice.
Ever think of ITE???
Yar!
If poly takleh cope,aku try ITE lak arh.
ITE Dover.
Boleh sama skola dengan bro aku.
Fun gitu!
Yang penting,keinginan nak terus dapat ilmu dalam different field of education.
Insyallah,aku boleh berjaya dalam satu-satu bidang selain mengarang lirik.
Fikir-fikir nak amek Info-Tech.
Sebab kenapa tau,aku dah dapat basic kat poly so better amek something yang ada kena mengena dengan jurusan itu.
Aniway,back to the mini project.
Lepas jammin bolehlah aku practice.
And that is around malam gitu ar baru sampai rumah.
Confirmnya!
Selalunya jammin sampai malam per!
Mak aku pun tanya apa yang aku buat asyik khusyuk dengan kertas dan pen.
Aku pun jawap ar,tengah karang lirik.Jangan kacau!
Teehee!
Orang karang lirik jangan kacau.Dorang perlu koncentrasi yang banyak.
Alamak!
Look at the time now.
Aku kena jalan dulu ar.Nanti sampai lambat kena "open-table" untuk dorang.
Ketok ketampi katakan.
Chao!

Luang Masa Karang Puisi

2005-02-23T19:56:00.000-08:00

Sorry lah dah lama tak update.Been busy.
Maner tak busy.
Asyik karang puisi.
Suka nah aku dengan puisi.
Let out the inner feelings.
Pergi jammin.
Lepak dengan kawan-kawan.
Tidur(Biasa jugak!!!)
So tak der time nak masuk blog aku ni.
Well,life's been still the same to me.
Takder paper perbaharuan nak kecoh-kecoh dekat sini.
Boring as ever!
Unless pergi lepak dengan budak-budak.
Har!Itu baru happening!
Lagipon,aku sekarang ada style baru.
Bukan lagi style pakaian yang selama ini aku pakai.
Tengah tunggu rambut aku panjang je.
Lambat nah rambut ni nak panjang.
Panjang lah cepat!
Gedegak betul!
Style sekarang yang aku pakai is........
Slack!
Like duh!
Crap ar kan!
Watever Motherfucker la ehk!
Boleh di katakan aku suka life gini.
Boleh buat apa aku nak.
Fun dok!Hehe!
Oh ya!
Lupa nak kongsi.Kakak aku dah nak kahwin!
Yipeee!
Gila aku.Kakak aku yang nak kahwin per,bukannye aku.
Aniway,tak sabar aku nak berrewang untuk majilis kakak aku.
Berserilah nampaknya kakak aku ni dekat atas pelamin nanti ehk.
Tapi fikir-fikir,payah jugak nak berkahwin ni semua.
Mana nak fikir kan tempat nak buat kenduri,baper banyak orang nak di undang,banyak nah benda nak tanggung.
Har!Aku ada idea!
Kan lebih baik jangan kahwin.
Jangan ada matair ni semua.
Taklah bebankan otak kan nyer!
Ok la!Sampai di sini aje tok sekarang.
Aku free,nanti aku update kies.
Nak pergi karang puisi lagi.
End Of Tranmission----------------------------------------------------

Long Never See

2005-02-02T19:24:00.000-08:00

Sorry ar dah lama tak masok blog.
Been busy lately.
Maner fikir pasal poly,pasal members,etc.
Anyway.
Semalam boleh dikatakan hampir satu hari aku dekat luar.
Boring jugak dekat rumah.
Tak ada apa nak buat katakan.
Petang tu.
Aku decided teman brotha aku,Peng Keong.
Pergi beli 4D.
Ada dia cakap tangan aku ni lucky sebab the first time aku belikan dia.
He strike the consulation price of $75.
Apa lagi.
Happy lah budak tu.
Haha.
Tapi semalam bila sampai jer dekat tempat nak beli 4D.
Mak oi!
Belambak seh orang beratur nak beli.
Aku pun naik malas nak tunggu.
So Peng Keong suruh uncle dia belikan.
Bagus jugak.
Lepas tu je kita pergi Jurong West.
Auntie Peng Keong nak suruh dia bagi "Bird Nest" dekat sedara dia yang tinggal dekat Gek Poh dan Marsiling.
So mulalah kita punya "Amazing Race" of the day.
Kwangkwangkwang!
Naik bus pergi Gek Poh Shopping Centre.
Aku tunggu dekat luar kedai sedara dia.
Tapi sementara aku tunggu.
Ada incident happen.
Aku tengah tunggu dekat jugak dengan toilet macam "Bai Jaga Toilet".
Hehe.
Tiba-tiba saja one group of Chinese youngsters tengah tarik satu budak cina ni masuk toilet.
Ini mesti fight nya arh.
Pakal aku tak stare kan.
Kalau tak.
Dengan aku-aku pun masuk sekali dalam toilet kena bantai.
Tapi senang je.
Dorang kalau tarik aku.
Anytime aku boleh call members lama aku,budak Omega,turun.
Dorang sendiri dah cakap.
"Paper kau leh panggil kita.Kitaorang confirm turun,member nyer pasal".
Baik arh!
Hehe.
Lepas je Peng Keong settle dekat Gek Poh.
Next stop Marsiling.
Naik bus bukan main nya mendak.
Boleh naik tidur seh!
Tangkap lentok siol!
Hehe.
Pakal Peng Keong ada MP3.
Taklah boring sangat.
Sampai je dekat Marsiling.
Settle dekat sana terus kena pergi dekat Jurong West balik.
Bukan main semput di buatnya.
Hehe.
Naik lagi bus 187 patah balik Jurong West kena bagi contact lens dekat auntie dia.
Sampai je dekat Jurong West dah pukul 9 lebih malam.
Gerek!
Hehe.
Yang bestnya.
Pasal sampai jer kat Jurong West.
Kita terserempak dengan saudara Peng Keong yang turun sana nak amek specs. Apa lagi.
Dia belanja kita makan malam dekat kedai kopi Jurong East.
Fun ar satu hari rounding Singapore.
The Most Fuckiest Country Of Them All.
Hahahaha.

Sudah Takdir Ku........

2005-01-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

Haiz,nampaknya memang dah takdir hidup aku takkan dapat hubungan yang berkekalan.
Aku tak faham tau,apa salah dosa yang aku dah lakukan.
Aku setia.
Aku kasihkan dia.
Aku ambil berat tentang keadaan dia.
Aku siramkan kasih sayang aku HANYA pada dia.
Namun.......
Aku yang di lukakan akhirnya.
Fikiran ini asyik bermain kata-kata.
"Aku di takdirkan tiada merasai perkasihan yang berkekalan"
Haiz........
Hidup aku ini entah apa sialnya.
Agaknya diri ini pembawa sial saja untuk aku.
Aku dah terlalu penat menyingkirkan fikiran itu.
Sekarang,aku mula terima takdir hidup sial aku.
Aku memang takkan merasai kasih sayang dari seorang gadis berpanjangan.
Tiada gadis di dunia ini yang menghargai susah-payah pergorbanan cinta aku terhadap dorang.
Memang betul apa yang di cakap oleh 'brotha' aku,Izam.
Perempuan di abad ini tak menghargai cinta yang suci.
Mereka lebih suka berdamping dengan lelaki yang melukakan dorang,yang meranakan hidup dorang.
Haiz.........
Pelik aku tengok dunia ini.
Mungkin nak kiamat dunia ini kot!
Argh!
Jangan fikir benda bodoh ar!
Aku sekarang hanya nak habiskan hidup ini lepak dengan 'brotha' aku.
Minum.
Isap rokok sampai mampus.
Dia pun,pernah mencurahkan kasih sayang dia pada bekas kekasih nya.
Tapi bekas kekasihnya sanggup tinggalkan dia untuk kembali pada lelaki yang pernah main belakang dia.
AKU BENCI PEREMPUAN!!!!

Lagu Menangkap Kalbu

2004-11-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

Lagu-lagu jiwang ialah teman aku bila aku nak tidur selalu.

Sebab lagu tu akan mengingatkan aku tentang kisah-kisah silam aku bersama Hidayah.

Saat-saat kita bersama adalah kenangan yang penuh manis bagi aku.

Ingatkan kenangan tu kan,boleh tersenyum-senyum aku dibuatnya.

Agaknya aku semakin giler kot.

Hehe.

Entahlah.

Tuhan jer yang tau apa aku rasa dan alami.

Tapi asal lambat sangat ni Allah nak cabot nyawa aku.

Malas ar nak hidup lagi dekat dunia ni.

Bosan pun ada dengan dunia ni.

Aku dah cukup tengok dan alami keburukan dan kepahitan dunia ini.

Lebih aku hidup dekat dunia ni,lebih sakit dibuatnya.

Haiz.

Mungkin Hidayah memang jodohnya bersama Taufiq.

Yelah.

Aku sering dengar.

Di television dan radio sering berkumandang.

"Agar kita mendapat Hidayah dan Taufiq dariNya".

Agaknya Tuhan telah jodohkan Hidayah dgn Taufiq bersama.

Kalau gitu,asal Tuhan membuat aku bercinta dengan Hidayah dulu.

Asal dia buat aku jatuh cinta dengan Hidayah.

Apa.

Dia nak mempermainkan hati aku ker.

Tak patutkan.

Tapi selalunya apa yang terjadi ada rahmatnya.

Mungkin Allah ingin aku bersedih dan merana seumur hidup aku.

Haiz.

Ini on 28 Nov,budak-budak ex-sec aku nak jalan raya.

If tak aku tak nak pergi sekali.

Nak tau asal tak.

Sebab dorang bawak gerl dorong.

Itu tak apa,namer-namer gerl dorong semuanya Hidayah.

Takkan darah up tu kan.

Ini macam dah ditakdirkan.

Aku tanggung rindu dan luka parah sal ex aku,Hidayah.

Tapi terpaksa terima jugak lar.

Aku dah cukop.

PASRAH DENGAN HIDUP.................

Bujang Selamanya

2004-11-16T22:37:00.000-08:00

Well.

I've decided to be single all the way.

Fikir-fikir eh,payah jugak nak ada matair ni semuer.

Nak tau asal tak.

Yela maner nak jaga hati gerl,aner nak kena pandai pujok.

Problem kan gitu.

Masa tu semua boleh buat benda-benda yang lebeh berfaedah untuk diri sendiri.

Aku boleh use that time to go out dengan kawan or just relax one corner.

Aku pon tak tahu asal orang nak ader matair ni semuer.

Kan hanya tambah problem jer.

Kalau nak berbual tentang cinta.

Kita boleh anytime cintakan keluarga kita and Allah,Tuhan Yang Maha Berkuasa.

Ataupun cinta adik-beradik kita sendiri.

Aper nak cinta orang lain kan.

Lagipon semuer tak terpikir ker.

Kalau bermatair pelajaran boleh terjejas.

Sebab bila dah matair mesti nak jumpakan lepaskan rindu katerkan.

Masa dengan keluarga sendiri pon boleh terjejas.

Sebab asyik bermessage-message atau bergantong jer dengan matair sendiri.

Entahlah.

Tapi pada aku.

Aku dah buat keputusan untuk remain single sampai dah berkerja sampai dah tua.

Can enjoy seorang-seorang tau all the money that we have.

Walaupon ada gerl yang lawa ker atau yang jambu ingin rapat dengan aku.

The only jawapan yang aku akan bagi is aku accept her as my frend jer.

Tak lebih aku anggap dorang dari seorang kawan.

Karang ni aku hanya nak dekatkan diri pada Allah dan keluarga aku.

Sebab aku tak sedar.

Yang keluarga aku lah yang tetap berada di sisi bila aku dalam kesusahan.

Love No More

2004-11-15T23:43:00.000-08:00

haiz.
susah nak lupakan orang yang kita amat cintai sepenuh hati.
Aku tahu hidayah dah ada guy tapi asal fikiran aku tak boleh lupakan dia????
ingin diri ini hilangkan dia dari fikiran dari terus memakan diri.
betapa peritnya melihat dia disisi orang lain dan bukan aku.
Hidayah,walaupun kau sudah ada taufiq,seorang yang baik dan akan membahagiakan kau,aku tetap and will ALWAYS love u till my last breath.
tiada gadis dapat bertandang di hati ini kecuali kau seorang,hidayah.
cinta aku pada kau abadi selamanya di sudut hati.
tapi apakan malangnya dia sudah bahagia dengan
orang yang disampingnya.
hati ini merasa menyesal kerana tidak menghargai cinta kau satu masa lalu.
hidayah akan tetap dan selamanya menjadi cahaya petunjuk hidup aku.
apabila hidayah ku melangkah pergi.
keluar dari kebahagian aku.
rasa bagaikan harapan dan keceriaan aku luput ditelan masa.
rasa bagaikan diri ini kehilangan sesuatu.
namun,tidak dapat aku menyentuhnya kerana dia
sudah menjadi hak orang lain.
sepilah hidup ini selamanya.

Kita hidup sekali
Mati sekali
Kahwin sekali dan
BERCINTA
sekali.

Poison Of Love

2004-11-15T21:45:00.000-08:00

Some may not agree with what i have to say.

But this is the truth that i experienced and some may experience it later.

Love is first seen as the most WONDERFUL moment of our life.

Where u can never experience it with your friends or family.

It's said that words can't describe the happiness and joys u spent with the girl/guy of your life.

The times u spent is never enough.

24 hours is felt short to salvage the thirst of his/her company.

But as times when by,as each day pass u without noticing,u are slowly being pull into the most horrified trap.

A trap u may not be able to escape or find ways to get out.

A trap that will follow to any place you visit.

It will haunt you in your wake and sleep.

It makes u recoil the moments of jovial.

But in the end of that jovial,u will see the moment she/he walk out of your life.

The moment is going to replay over and over again.

Non-stop.

Even with all your strength to fought it,to push it far far far away,it's mightier than yourself.

Stronger than u.

Then u have been poisoned by LOVE..............

The cruelness of LOVE

2004-11-09T01:13:00.000-08:00

Some may not agree with what i have to say.
But this is the truth that i experieced and some may experience it later.
Love is first seen as the most WONDERFUL moment of life.
Where u can never experience it with your friends or family.
It's said that words can't describe the happiness and joys u spent with the girl/guy of your life. The times u spent is never enough.
24 hours is not enough to salvage the thirst of his/her company.
But as times when by,as each day pass u without noticing u are slowly being pull into the most horrific trap.
A trap u may not be able to escape or find ways to get out.
A trap that will follows to any place you visit.
It will haunt you in your wake and sleep.
It makes u recoils the moment of jovial.
But in the end of that jovial,u will see the moment she/he walk out of your life.
The moment is replay over and over again.
Even with all your strength to fought it to push it far far far awy,it's mightier than yourself.
U have been poison by LOVE..............